


Supermarket Flowers

by DramaticSheep



Category: Madam Secretary
Genre: Cancer, Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:41:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 34,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27372115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DramaticSheep/pseuds/DramaticSheep
Summary: Everything is about to change - how will they find their new normal? March 2020 Submission for the MSec fanfic challenge.
Relationships: Elizabeth McCord/Henry McCord
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter One**

**a/n – This was my first ever MSec fanfic - originally posted over at FF.net - then some asked me to please post it on AO3 - I will be putting the whole thing up ASAP. Any feedback is greatly appreciated!**

Elizabeth McCord sat quietly on one of the hard-plastic chairs in the waiting room of the dental surgery. She sighed as she swiped her phone open and checked her messages. She aimlessly scrolled through them but was not actually reading them, her mind was elsewhere. Her stomach was in knots as she waited to be called for her appointment – she was never a huge fan of the dentist, but this time was different. She absent-mindedly brushed the side of her tongue along the lump that had formed at the side of her mouth two weeks prior as she had done so frequently over the past few days.

_Abscess. It's got to be_ she thought to herself. _Just an abscess, they'll give me antibiotics and send me on my way._

She continued to scroll through her phone, trying to clear her mind.

_What if it's not though?_ She asked herself. The knots in her stomach tightened. There was always the possibility that this wasn't an abscess, she hadn't had a fever. True, there had been swelling, but there was no throbbing tooth ache to accompany it. She took a deep breath and closed all the tabs on her internet browser.

"Elizabeth McCord?" A voice called from the back of the waiting room. A young woman in light blue scrubs was standing there with a clipboard. Elizabeth jumped up from her seat instantly.

"Yeah." She said, grabbing her bag and putting her phone into her pocket as she walked forward to the back of the waiting room.

"Hi there." The woman said. "I'm Emma, I'll be your dental nurse today, if you'll just follow me, I'll take you through to Dr. Vithlani." Elizabeth nodded and followed Emma down a short corridor and into a room with a plate reading _Dental Surgery 3_.

Inside the room, a woman sat at a computer in the corner, dressed in green scrubs – she was quickly reading over Elizabeth's health records to get herself up to speed. She stood up and shook Elizabeth's hand.

"Madam Secretary." She said. "Good afternoon, I am very sorry for the wait, please have a seat." She gestured towards the dentist's chair and Elizabeth complied, sitting down gingerly on the chair.

Dr Vithlani sat on a stool opposite the dentist's chair and scanned over the forms that Elizabeth had filled in.

"So, Madam Secretary – "

"Please, call me Elizabeth." She corrected.

"Okay, Elizabeth, what is it I can do for you today? I see you're not due your check up for another few months?"

"Yeah, I think I have an abscess, could you take a look?" Elizabeth explained. Dr. Vithlani stood up.

"Absolutely." She said, hitting the controls to lower the chair to the correct height.

Elizabeth closed her eyes as she opened her mouth, to allow the doctor access to the inside. After a small amount of poking and prodding, the doctor sighed.

"Are you experiencing any sensitivity or tooth ache in the nearby teeth?" She asked.

"No." Elizabeth answered.

"And no fever? I see there is a good amount of swelling here." She continued.

"Nope, no fever."

The doctor placed her tools back on the table beside the chair, and looked to Emma, the dental nurse.

"Emma, could you get me some x-ray films please?" She asked. Emma went into the large cupboard next to the computer and retrieved a box of films. Dr. Vithlani placed a film into the dental x-ray holder.

"Ok Elizabeth, I'm going to need to take an x-ray to have a better look at what's going on, can you please bite down on this?" She asked, sliding the plastic holder into her mouth and positioning it correctly. Elizabeth hated dental x-rays, the plastic holders always felt too sharp and it was a struggle to hold it in place in her mouth. The doctor and dental nurse exited the room while the x-ray photo was taken and re-entered shortly after. Dr. Vithlani removed the x-ray holder from Elizabeth's mouth. She then sat down at her computer and waited for the slides to load.

"Hmm." The doctor commented, looking at Elizabeth and then back to the x-ray slide. She then got up and took out another x-ray film from the box on the counter.

"Sorry Elizabeth, I'm going to need to take another x-ray if you don't mind."

"Okay." Elizabeth said, her voice quivering a little. The holder went back in. Once again, they left the room while the photo was taken. It was a few minutes later, after having stared at the x-ray slides that Dr. Vithlani moved back to the stool near the dentist's chair.

"Well, I've taken a long hard look, and I'm sorry Elizabeth, I don't believe this is an abscess." She said, her face was drained of colour. Elizabeth's heart skipped. _Oh God._

"So, what does –" Elizabeth choked out.

"I am going to be urgently referring you to the George Washington University Hospital. With any luck, you should have a consultation there with one of the maxillofacial doctors and then they will take care of you from there."

Elizabeth felt as though she'd been hit by a truck, her head was spinning as she took all of this information in, after a moment's silence she sat up and started to get up from the dentist's chair.

"Thank you, doctor." She said, heading for the door.

"I'm truly sorry, Elizabeth. I wish it was an abscess." The doctor said, Elizabeth nodded in response. She opened the door and left the room. Slowly she walked back out into the waiting area and up to the reception desk. The receptionist looked up from her paperwork and smiled.

"How may I help you?" She asked. Elizabeth cleared her throat.

"I – I need to pay for my visit." She answered. The receptionist nodded as the desk phone rang. Elizabeth opened up her purse and pulled her credit card out, ready to pay.

"I'm sorry, just one moment." She said and picked up the phone. "Yeah? Yes, she's here now. Okay, I understand. Thank you, doctor." She placed the phone back into the cradle. She looked to Elizabeth, her smile faded, and her face was drained of colour.

"That was Dr. Vithlani," The receptionist explained. "There is no charge for your visit. She wanted me to let you know she has already sent over the paperwork to GWUH to get your referral rolling. Have a nice day, Madam Secretary."

"Oh, okay then, well thank you." Elizabeth said, putting her credit card away in her purse. She headed for the exit and stopped for a moment take in a deep breath of fresh air. Her motorcade was waiting just outside of the building. Her DS agents were standing outside one of the vehicles.

"Everything okay, Madam Secretary?" Matt asked as she approached them, opening the car door.

"Fine thanks, Matt. Sorry for making you wait out here." She said.

"You were never one for protocol, ma'am." He said, a small grin appeared on his face.

"Well, you know, it's not like they were going to murder me with a dental drill." Elizabeth joked, sitting down in the backseat of the car, she closed the door behind her. Matt got into the front seat of the car.

"Back to the office, ma'am?" He asked.

Elizabeth paused for a moment, pulling her phone from her pocket. There was a missed call from Henry.

"Uh, actually Matt, I need to call back to the house." She said, unlocking her phone and heading into her messages.

"Yes ma'am." Matt said, and the vehicle pulled off. Elizabeth began typing a message to Henry.

_E: Sorry, was in the dentist._

_H: That's ok babe, how did it go?_

_E: I'm heading home, can you meet me there? I'll be home in 20._

_H: Sure… babe is everything okay?_

_E: See you at home._

Elizabeth sighed, she hated having to be cryptic but there was no way she was going to tell Henry this news via text. She exited the chat and brought up Blake's chat thread.

_Blake, I need you to clear my schedule for the rest of the day, I'm needed at home._

She sent the text and then turned her phone off, she closed her eyes and rested her head against the car window. How was she going to tell Henry that their world may be about to change, and not in a good way? She felt sick at just the thought of it.

_Breathe, just breathe_ she told herself as she tried to keep her cool, the last thing she needed right now was a panic attack. The ride home felt like forever. She simultaneously couldn't wait to be home and didn't want to go home. By the time the motorcade arrived outside the house, she got out and slowly walked to the front door; she opened it and stepped inside.

"Anybody home?" She called out, when she got no response, she headed to the kitchen and retrieved a tub of ice cream from the freezer and a fork from the dishwasher. She sat at the table and began to eat. She was glad her children were all out. She didn't want to tell them what was going on yet, it would be too much to worry them about something that she wasn't one hundred per cent sure that she had yet.

She looked up from her ice cream as she heard a key in the lock and the sound of the front door opening.

"Elizabeth?" She heard Henry call out.

_Oh God, this is it_ she thought


	2. Chapter 2

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Two**

"Elizabeth?" Henry called as he walked through the front door, closing it quietly behind him.

"In the kitchen." She called out to him. He found her sat at the kitchen table, head in her hands with a half empty carton of ice cream sat in front of her. He walked up to the table and sat in the chair opposite her.

"What happened?" he asked. She looked up at him, he could see tear streaks on her face, she didn't reply.

"Elizabeth, baby, what's wrong?" He asked.

"Henry, I'm scared." She breathed as tears continued to roll freely down her cheeks. "It's not an abscess." She continued. Henry's face fell.

There was silence for a few seconds.

"They're sure?" Henry managed to say eventually. Elizabeth sniffed and took Henry's hand in hers and nodded.

"She x-rayed it twice."

Henry looked dumbfounded, she looked him in the eyes, which were now starting to fill with tears, he took deep breaths to try and stop himself from crying.

"So, so what happens now?" Henry asked.

"I've been urgently referred to the maxillofacial department at George Washington." Elizabeth explained. "I guess they'll get in contact when they have an appointment for me."

Henry nodded slowly, taking all of the information in.

"What do we tell the kids?" He asked. Elizabeth shook her head.

"Nothing. Not yet. I don't want to worry them if it turns out to be nothing." She said. She squeezed his hand.

"Are you okay?" Henry asked, squeezing her hand back.

"Not even close." Elizabeth replied.

"Elizabeth, if anyone can handle this, it's you, babe." Henry reassured her.

"God, I hope so." Elizabeth sighed.

* * *

Elizabeth received the phone call from the maxillofacial department at the hospital later that afternoon. They had scheduled her for a consultation the following day. The whole process had been a lot faster than she thought it would be, and she was very grateful. Now she sat beside Henry in the doctor's office.

"Good morning Madam Secretary, Dr. McCord." The doctor said, shaking both of their hands and taking a seat opposite from them. "My name is Dr. Green, as you know I specialise in oral and maxillofacial." He explained. He opened up a folder that was on the desk in front of him and took out a copy of the x-ray slides that had been taken the previous day.

"Now, Elizabeth – your dentist forwarded these scans onto me yesterday afternoon. I'm afraid I am not one hundred per cent sure exactly what is going on, so I'm going to have to schedule you in for a biopsy so that we can get a better understanding." He said. "If you take a closer look at this scan here –" He continued, holding the scan out so that Henry and Elizabeth could see, he pointed to the jawbone.

"As you can see here – see these dark circles along the jawbone?"

Elizabeth nodded.

"These dark circles indicate that there a several patches of your jawbone that are much thinner than they should be."

"Okay, so what kind of timeframe are we looking at here?" Elizabeth asked, trying her best to stay calm.

"Well given your position as Secretary of State, we will be able to bump you to the top of the waiting list, so that's a plus. We will be in contact as soon as we can get you scheduled in. You will need to go under general anaesthetic, the surgeons will need to take samples of the mass and also extract a small amount of jawbone for testing."

"And recovery time?" Elizabeth followed.

"You will be sore for a few days, you will probably have to adjust your diet to liquids and very soft foods, perhaps soup, soft breads. You should be feeling better after a week or two." The doctor explained.

"And the results?" She asked.

"We will contact you with an appointment to discuss results as soon as possible. I will do everything in my power to minimise the wait. However, Elizabeth – I must express; I cannot say for sure that this could be cancer, but you should prepare yourself for the fact that it might be."

Elizabeth felt Henry squeeze her hand as she closed her eyes for a few seconds. _Please, don't let it be this_ she begged.

"I see." Elizabeth eventually said. "Thank you, doctor. I hope to hear from you soon." She stood up from her seat, Henry followed shortly after.

"As soon as I have any available slot, you will be the first to know." He said. He stood up from his desk and walked to the office door and opened it for Henry and Elizabeth. "Goodbye now." He said as they exited the office.

Henry and Elizabeth sat in the hospital cafeteria hidden away in the corner. A plate of fries sat between them on the table, but it had barely been touched.

"Well if this ends up being what I think it is, I guess I better get used to hospital food." Elizabeth quipped, rolled her eyes and took a fry from the plate and threw it in her mouth.

"Hey now." Henry said. "There's always a chance that it won't be."

"I know." Elizabeth replied. "Doesn't change the fact that I'm absolutely terrified." She grabbed a handful more of fries.

"I know this is scary, but we will get through this – together." Henry said. Elizabeth smiled and nodded, taking more fries.

"Are you going to let me eat any of these?" He joked; a coy smile appeared on his face.

"Hey! I'm going to be on a liquid diet soon. I deserve all the fries."

Henry laughed out loud.

"I love you." He said, pushing the plate of fries towards her.

"I love you too." Elizabeth said, and then sighed. "Henry, what are we going to tell the kids?" She asked.

"I thought you didn't want to tell them yet?" He said.

"Well, I'm going for surgery, we can't just keep that from them."

Henry thought for a moment, it was true – they couldn't really keep this from the kids, Elizabeth going in for a surgery would definitely arouse suspicions.

"Maybe we can just tell them the truth, but water it down a little. Say you're having surgery because you found something weird and the doctor wants to find out what it is." Henry suggested.

"I just didn't want to worry them until we had concrete proof." Elizabeth cried.

"I know, babe. I know how it sounds. I know what their heads are going to jump to when we tell them, but we can't leave them in the dark on this." Henry said, stroking her hand.

"No, I don't suppose we can." Elizabeth sighed. "God, Henry I hate this. I don't want to traumatize our children."

"It's not going to be easy. They'll be scared, hell; I'm scared. But we've raised them well, they're strong, we will face this together, as a family."

Elizabeth finished the plate of fries and washed it down with the remainder of her cup of coffee. She checked her watch.

"Ali and Jace will be home from school soon. We should probably head home. We'll wait for Stevie to get home and then we'll tell them altogether." Henry nodded. He stood up and took their plate and empty cups back to the counter.

He walked back to the table as Elizabeth was putting on her coat. He put his arm around her and together they walked back out to the hospital car park.


	3. Chapter 3

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Three**

"Hey guys." Stephanie McCord called out as she entered the house after a long day of classes. She walked into the kitchen and picked up a dinner plate that had been made up for her off the counter.

"Thanks for dinner." She said, sitting down at the kitchen table. "Sorry I missed it." She began to eat.

"You're welcome" Henry said, he was sitting on the sofa with Elizabeth, Jason was sat on the floor, his head resting against the arm of the sofa, he was glued to his X Box. Alison was sat at the other end of the kitchen table, doing her homework.

"How was school?" Elizabeth asked sitting up on the sofa.

"It was fine." Stevie replied. "A bit snowed under and I have a paper due at the end of the week, but I'm on top of it."

Stevie finished eating and went to put her plate in the dishwasher. She then joined Elizabeth and Henry on the sofa.

"Hey kids, we need to talk to you about something." Henry said, sitting up, tapping Jason on the shoulder. Jason looked up from the floor and took off his headset.

"Huh?" He asked.

"Can you turn the game off please, your mother and I need to talk to all three of you. Ali?" He said, looking to the kitchen table. Alison gave her parents a quizzical look.

"Okay…" She said, putting her pen down and closing her folder. She joined her siblings on the sofa. Henry and Elizabeth were perched on the coffee table in front of them.

"What's going on, guys?" Stevie asked, staring them straight in the eyes.

"Your mom has to go in for a surgery sometime soon." Henry began to explain.

"What for?" Alison asked.

"I'm not going to lie to you guys, I found a lump in my mouth. I thought it was an abscess, so I saw a dentist who told me it wasn't. The hospital aren't sure what it is so I have to have surgery for them to figure it out." Elizabeth said.

"A lump, what, like a tumour? Is it a tumour?" Alison cried, fear flashed across her face.

"They don't know, noodle. It's possible. It's also possible that it could be something else, we won't know until I've had the biopsy."

"So, it could be cancer?" Stevie asked.

"There's a chance." Henry answered.

"Oh my God." Stevie replied, putting her head into her hands.

Jason hadn't said a thing. Elizabeth was concerned about him.

"You doing ok, Jace?" She asked.

"Hmm? Yeah." He said. "It's kinda scary but, there's no point in worrying until we have more info, right?" He asked.

"That's right. That's a really grown up way of looking at it." Henry told him.

"When is the surgery planned for?" Alison asked.

"We're not sure yet, I'm waiting for an appointment from the hospital." Elizabeth explained.

"Have you told Conrad yet?" Stevie asked.

"Not yet, we wanted to speak to you all first. I will be calling him later, I guess I'm going to be out of the office for a while…" Elizabeth said.

Silence fell over the McCords. After a few moments, Henry stood up and began to pace the room.

"I know this is hard, and it's scary." He began. "But whatever happens, we are a family, and we will face whatever comes, good or bad, together."

Elizabeth studied her children's faces, each told a different story. Stevie's face was void of emotion, this was the most concerning to her, it would be one thing for her to be distraught, even to be okay. But the lack of emotion was downright scary. Jason and Alison both had an air of concern, she could tell Alison was doing all she could to not cry in front of her. She already hated what this was doing to her children.

"So, who wants to watch a movie?" Elizabeth asked, standing up from her perch on the coffee table and moving over to the sofa.

"Sure." said Jason. "I'm not in the mood to keep playing my game right now anyway." Elizabeth smiled at him.

"Noodle? Stevie?" She asked. Alison nodded. Stevie stood up from the sofa.

"Actually, you know what guys, I have to go finish my paper. I think I'm going to go to the library." She said, putting her phone into her jeans pocket.

"Are you sure? You just got some pretty shocking news, are you sure you don't want to just spend the night with us?" Elizabeth asked.

"No, it's okay. I'm fine. I have to finish this paper." She said, her voice was monotone.

"Okay then, you be careful." Elizabeth said, pulling her eldest daughter into a hug. Stevie kissed her mother on the cheek.

"I will. See you guys later." She said, and she left the living room.

* * *

"Do you think Stevie is alright?" Elizabeth asked Henry. Elizabeth was already in bed, waiting for Henry to join her.

"I'm sure she'll come around." Henry called from the bathroom where he was midway through brushing his teeth.

"It's scary Henry, did you see her? There was no emotion there, it was like I didn't even know her anymore." Elizabeth said. Henry walked into the bedroom and pulled the covers back on his side of the bed.

"It was a lot to take in, Elizabeth." He said. "They just found out that you could have cancer."

"I hate this." She said, snuggling into his chest when he laid down on the bed.

"I know, I hate it too." He said, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tightly. "How did it go with Conrad?" He asked.

"Fine I guess, I think he would have appreciated me going in to tell him in person but I just wasn't up to it. The stress is really knocking it out of me, I'm so tired all the time." Elizabeth said.

The phone call wasn't as bad as she'd expected it to be, Conrad was understanding and extremely sympathetic. He had told her she could take as much time as she needed and to not worry about work; that Jay and Deputy Secretary Cushing would be able to cover the job until she was ready to come back.

Elizabeth was grateful for his offer, there was no way she was going to be able to go back to work so soon after a surgery, still she was upset that she was having to take time out. After years in the job she had really come to love it. Conrad had assured her that he would do all in his power to keep this news out of the press for as long as he could.

"He's known you for a long time, he knows you're not one to stay out of the way if you can possibly help it." Henry said. Elizabeth nodded, she began to stroke Henry's arm.

"Henry." Elizabeth said. "What am I going to do if this is cancer?" She asked, her voice sounded almost childlike.

"I know the doctor said to prepare yourself, but there's always the chance it might not be." Henry assured her.

"I know but, what if it is?" She asked again.

"Then we'll handle it. You can have treatment, if this is cancer, Elizabeth, you're going to kick its ass."

"Will you still love me when I'm bald?" Elizabeth asked. Henry jumped as he felt her tears fall onto his bare chest.

"I love you now, forever and always. Nothing is going to change that." He said.

"I love you too Henry. I hope we can make it through this."

Henry sighed, moving his hand up to stroke her hair.

"We'll make it through this. Now try and get some sleep please." He said.


	4. Chapter 4

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Four**

Stevie sat in the silent library, her notes and textbooks scattered out in front of her on the table, and her laptop open to the right of her. She was screwed, the paper was due two days from now and all she had in her document was the title of the essay. She checked her phone and saw it was getting seriously late, almost 11pm.

She had to admit to herself that her moms new had hit her like a truck. Stevie had always considered her mom to be a true force, unstoppable. She'd been to hell and back, survived a coup in Iran, Stevie thought that she must be indestructible. There was no way this could be cancer, surely. But there was always this niggle of doubt in her mind. It _could_ be cancer, and that was the terrifying part.

She'd felt quite terrible about the way she'd left the family meeting, and silently hoped that she hadn't offended her parents too badly. This was just the only way she knew to deal with the situation, by getting out of it. The guilt was a huge ball resting on her chest. She assured herself that tomorrow she would sit down with her mom and talk about everything and let her know that she would be there to support her, no matter what happened.

She was momentarily pulled out of her train of thought as her phone vibrated in her hand, it was a message from Harrison.

_H: You okay? My dad just told me the news._

_S: Can I see you? I need to talk to somebody._

_H: Of course. Where are you? I'll come pick you up._

_S: I'm at the college library, I have a paper to write for Friday but that's seriously just not happening right now._

_H: No problem, I'll be there as soon as I can._

Stevie put her phone away and started to pack away her things, there was no hope for this paper tonight, she would have to try again tomorrow. She put her notes and textbooks back into her bag and closed down her laptop. She put her coat back on and made her way outside, she needed air.

Twenty minutes later, the black car showed up, driven by Harrison's DS Agents. She nodded at them as she headed for the back of the car. She opened the door and got into the backseat next to Harrison, who pulled her into a hug.

"Thank you for coming." Stevie said.

"Of course, anytime." Harrison replied. "How are you holding up?" He asked.

Stevie laughed cooly.

"Terrible." She admitted. "I should be at home with my mom right now and instead I just ran away from the situation because I couldn't handle it. I'm the worlds worst daughter." She said, wiping away tears with her left hand.

"You're not." Harrison said. "It's a lot to handle. The uncertainty of it all, it must be driving you crazy."

"You can say that again." She said. "It doesn't feel real. I feel like this is all happening to somebody else and I'm just watching."

"I get that." Harrison said.

"I don't know what I'm going to do if this is cancer. Like how am I supposed to deal with this?" She stammered.

"Well, you don't deal with it." She shot him a confused look. "If it ends up being cancer, this battle will be your moms, not yours. All you can do is be there for her as much as you can. Try not to cry around her, she doesn't need to see that and it'll probably be killing her to know how it's eating you alive."

Stevie nodded slowly.

"That makes sense I guess. So, no crying around her. I can just go up to my room or stay out late.." She thought aloud.

"Hey, anytime you need a good cry, just let me know, you can always come hang out with me and let it all out." He said.

"Gee, that sounds depressing." Stevie joked, Harrison smiled.

"That's what friends are for." He said.

* * *

Sunlight was bleeding in through the bedroom windows as Elizabeth was violently thrown from the depths of sleep by the sound of her cellphone ringing. She was normally used to this sort of thing, but this was one phone call she was both waiting for and dreading at the same time.

She picked up her phone off of the bedside table, it was 8:30 AM – she had slept later than she had intended to. The caller ID was unknown, she knew it was the hospital, She took a deep breath and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello, am I speaking to Elizabeth McCord?" The voice at the other end asked.

"Yes." She replied.

"HI Mrs. McCord, I am Dr. Greens secretary, I am just calling to let you know that we have an opening for your surgery tomorrow morning, is that okay for you?"

"Yes, that's fine. Thank you." Elizabeth said.

"Great, you are booked in. Now just the standard stuff; no food or drink for 8 hours before your appointment, bring comfortable pyjamas and slippers. We don't expect you to have to stay overnight but just incase you can bring whatever you need. I'm afraid we don't have the capacity for family to be on the ward during a surgery so we need you to come alone."

"Okay, so 8:30 tomorrow? Got it." She said.

"Yes, that's right. We'll see you in the morning. Your family are more than welcome to wait in our cafeteria or reception area, there just isn't enough room on the ward."

"Okay, thanks for letting me know. Good bye."

Elizabeth hung up the phone. She was surprised but pleased that the surgery would be so soon. The sooner it happened, the sooner she would have answers. She looked to her right and noticed that Henry wasn't in the bed. She could hear everybody talking downstairs. She got out of bed and brushed her teeth and combed her hair and went downstairs.

"Good morning beautiful." Henry called as she walked down the stairs. He was at the stove cooking pancakes for breakfast.

"I got the surgery date. It's tomorrow morning." She said as she walked into the kitchen, planting a small kiss on his lips. She went to sit at the kitchen table.

"Wow, that's fast. Well this is good, we'll find out what's going on soon." Henry said cheerfully, as he placed a plate of pancakes in front of her on the table.

"Yeah well, being the secretary of state has its upsides sometimes." She said, and began to eat. "Wow, these are really good." She said as she took another bite.

"So we drop you off at what time tomorrow?" Henry asked, sitting opposite her at the table with his own plate of pancakes.

"8:30 – they said I shouldn't have to stay overnight, but to take stuff just in case."

Henry nodded as he began to eat his breakfast.

"They said you're not allowed to wait with me though." Elizabeth said.

"What?" Henry stopped with his fork in midair. "Why the hell not? That's ridiculous."

"They said there's not enough space on the ward for family to wait with me." She sighed.

"You can wait in the cafeteria though." She followed up.

"Well, I guess that's not so bad. The kids will all be in school anyway." He said.

Both Henry and Elizabeth looked up from their breakfast as Stevie walked down the stairs.

"Morning sleepyhead." Elizabeth said. "I didn't hear you come in last night." She commented.

"Yeah, it was a late one." Stevie said, as she approached the fridge, took out the orange juice and poured herself a glass.

"How's the paper going?" Henry asked.

"It's not finished yet, but I made good progress." Stevie lied.

"Good." Henry said.

"How are you doing, mom?" Stevie said as she took a sip of juice.

"I'm okay baby." She said. "I got my surgery appointment."

Stevie looked at her mother expectantly.

"Tomorrow morning." Elizabeth said.

"Well that's good it's so fast." She said, putting her empty glass into the dishwasher. "Hey mom, can I talk to you about something?" She asked, walking over to the kitchen table.

"Of course." Elizabeth said as Stevie sat down, both girls looked at Henry.

"Oh what, no boys allowed? I get it." He joked, he stood up and cleared his and Elizabeth's plates from the table. "I'll be in the office if you need me." He told Elizabeth, and then he left the room.

Elizabeth looked to Stevie.

"Everything okay sweetheart?" She asked.

"Yeah it's fine I just – " Stevie began. "I'm sorry for the way I reacted last night." A single tear began to roll down her cheek.

"Hey, hey now – " Elizabeth said, pulling her daughter into a hug. "That's okay. Everybody reacts differently. It was a lot to take in. I understand."

"Are you scared?" Stevie asked, sniffling.

"Honestly? Yes, I'm terrified. But like Jason said yesterday, there's little point worrying until we have more information." Elizabeth said.

"I know, what was all that about, right?" Steve said, choking out a little laugh.

"I guess our little anarchist has grown up a little." Elizabeth said, smiling.

"Mom, I'm gonna be here for you, anything you need. Just let me know okay? If it.." She began. "If it ends up being cancer, I'll do everything can, I'll drop out of school to take care of you if I have to."

"Nobody will be dropping out of school." Elizabeth said firmly. "And it may not even be cancer. Let's just take it one day at a time, okay?"

"Okay mom." Stevie said, wiping her tears away with her sleeve. "I'm sorry mom I have to go, I have a lecture soon." She hugged her mother again and got up from the table.

"Love you." Elizabeth said.

"Love you too." Stevie said as she headed for the front door.


	5. Chapter 5

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Five**

* * *

"Good morning Mrs. McCord." The receptionist said, smiling brightly.

"Hi." Elizabeth said, taking the forms and pen that were being thrust in her direction.

"How are you this morning?" The receptionist asked.

"Hungry." Elizabeth said as she signed the bottom of a few page. "And thirsty." She followed, handing the forms back.

"It's standard procedure I'm afraid." The receptionist said, she handed Elizabeth a key and a hospital gown. "Here's the key to your locker, I'm going to need you to change into the hospital gown and put your belongings into your assigned locker, you'll get them back when you're discharged from the hospital." She explained.

"Okay, and what about this?" Elizabeth asked, holding up her overnight bag.

"Well we hope to not have to keep you overnight, so for now just put it in your locker, if you need it later, we will make sure you get it."

"Okay." Elizabeth said.

"Thank you Mrs. McCord, hopefully the wait wont be too long. When you're ready please take a seat in the waiting area and the surgical team will let you know when they're ready for you."

"Thanks." Elizabeth said. She made her way over to the restroom and locked the door behind her. She placed her bag down on the floor and began to undress. A full length mirror hung on the wall to the right of the sink, as Elizabeth undressed she looked at her body. She was approaching fifty and her body beared the signs of an interesting life. The scar on her back which she'd gotten during the Iran coup was still visible but had faded over time. Elizabeth put on the hospital down and attempted to tie it, struggling, she wished Henry was with her. Eventually she managed to tie it, she folded her discarded clothes and placed them into the overnight bag, she retrieved her slippers and put them on.

She exited the restroom and found her assigned locker. She placed her things into the locker and handed the key over to the receptionist.

"Thank you." The receptionist said, taking the key.

Elizabeth turned and went to find a seat in the waiting room. She found a comfortable looking chair by the window, she sat and grabbed one of the magazines that was laid out at the table next to the chairs and started to read; it was going to be a long day.

* * *

Henry McCord sat at a table in the corner of the cafeteria, it was quiet but he realised that must be because it was so early. The cafeteria was serving breakfast but he decided that he felt too worried to eat. He took a black coffee instead. He'd brought papers with him to grade to pass the time, they lay scattered across the table but he couldn't bring himself to start grading yet.

The truth was, he hadn't slept soundly since Elizabeth had told him the news. He was trying to stay positive for her, but it was so unbelievably exhausting. He couldn't shift the dread in his heart that something bad was coming.

They'd talked in the past about what would happen if one of them passed away. According to Elizabeth he should wait at least a year before he remarried. She'd told him that before she left for Iran. It was ridiculous, he knew he would never ever be able to move on from Elizabeth, should anything happen.

 _Stop overthinking things_ Henry thought to himself. _You don't know that it's going to be bad news._

Elizabeth hadn't known this, but he had already started researching about how to cope with a loved one who has cancer. He knew how things were going to go, how he should be feeling; shock, anger, guilt, denial. He shouldn't be feeling these things already, but he was.

Henry sighed and looked at his watch, he had only been away from Elizabeth for thirty minutes. He took a sip of coffee and pulled one of the papers in front of him and picked up his pen; it was going to be a long day.

Elizabeth lay on the gurney as they wheeled her into the operating room, it all felt very surreal. She hadn't been in an operating theatre for many years. She was transferred to the operating table by the doctors.

"Ok Mrs. McCord we're going to be administering the anaesthetic just now, just relax and can you please count backwards from ten for me?" The doctor said, as the anaesthesiologist injected her.

"Ten." She began.

"Nine." Her vision began to become foggy. She closed her eyes.

"Eight…"

Her world went dark.

* * *

"Excuse me, Dr. McCord?"

Henry looked up from his graded papers to find the receptionist from the maxillofacial department standing at his table.

"Hi there." Henry said.

"Good afternoon sir, I thought you'd like to know your wife is awake, if you'd like to come and see her."

Henry stood almost instantly.

"Of course, please." He said, shoving the papers into his bag as fast as he could.

He followed her down the corridor and to the elevator which the rode to the third floor. They reached the surgical ward and the receptionist scanned her ID badge against the sensor, she held open the door for Henry and he walked through. He used the hand sanitiser bottle that was hanging on the wall by the door.

"She is in the private room at the end of the corridor – room five." She pointed him in the right direction.

"Thank you." Henry said and began to make his way down the corridor. He stopped outside room five and quietly knocked on the door and entered the room. Elizabeth was lying on the bed, although awake she looked very groggy.

"Hey you." He said, smiling at her. "You did so well." He walked over to the bed.

"All I did was sleep." Elizabeth said quietly, trying not to move her mouth too much, her left cheek was fairly swollen and it hurt. A dull ache was radiating from her jaw to her left ear, she assumed it was only dull because of the pain medication.

"How are you feeling?" Henry asked.

"Tired." Elizabeth said. "And my head sort of hurts."

"I'm not surprised, they went at you with a bone saw." Henry said.

"Should have set my DS agents on them." Elizabeth joked, laughing slightly but immediately stopped. "Oh God, remind me to not laugh." She said, cradling her face with her hand.

The door opened and one of the doctors walked in, holding a clipboard.

"Mrs. McCord, Dr. McCord." He greeted them. "Well the surgery went well. We got everything we needed. We will contact you as soon as possible to let you know the results, but I doubt it would be any less than 48 hours at least. Whenever you're ready, you're free to go. Aftercare wise, be sure to do daily saltwater mouthwashes to prevent infection of the wound site. I've prescribed you some strong painkillers to help with the pain."

He handed two white boxes to Henry, who put them into his bag.

"Thank you, doctor." Elizabeth said.

"Liquid diet only for the next few days I'd suggest, definitely avoid any hard to chew foods."

"Already on top of it, our eldest daughter is food shopping as we speak." Henry said, as he helped Elizabeth get up from the bed.

"That's good. Well I'll leave you both to get ready. Just check in with the receptionist on your way out to sign the discharge papers." And with that, he left the room.

"Where's your bag?" Henry asked. Elizabeth pointed to the chair in front of the window.

"They must have brought it in here while I was out of it." Elizabeth said. Henry retrieved the bag and placed it on the bed. He unzipped it and took out the clothes Elizabeth's clothes that she had been wearing earlier in the day.

"Do you need any help?" He asked, turning to her.

"Please." She said, turning around. "Can you untie the strings?" Henry pulled at the ties and they fell open with ease.

"You have no idea how difficult that was to put on by myself." Elizabeth said.

Henry smirked and passed Elizabeth her clothes, staying nearby incase she needed help.

"God it's good to be out of that damn gown. They're so unflattering." She said.

"I think you looked sexy." He said.

"You would say that, you're married to me." She snorted. Henry held up both of his hands.

"It's the truth!" He laughed. He picked up her bag from the bed and held the door open for her. Together they walked down the corridor and down to the receptionists desk. The receptionist smiled at them both and handed over a clipboard and pen.

"Here you are, your discharges papers. I just need a signature at the bottom of the page."

Elizabeth took the clipboard and signed the document and handed it back to her.

"Come on, let's get you home." Henry said, guiding her to the ward door.


	6. Chapter 6

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Six**

Elizabeth and Henry sat once again in the doctors office. It had only been a few days since the surgery. Elizabeth knew that they had seriously fast tracked her results, but even so the wait had been excruciating, she couldn't imagine having to wait any longer to find out. Dr Green sat across from them, with a young nurse sat in a chair beside him.

"Good morning Mrs. McCord, Dr McCord." Dr. Green greeted them from the opposite side of the desk. "I'd like you to meet nurse Thompson, she is here to oversee the appointment." He explained, he then opened the cardboard file that lay in front of him on the desk.

"Elizabeth, how are you feeling after the surgery?" He asked, as he shuffled through several papers, and pulling one out to lay it on top of the pile.

"Getting sick of soup already." She said, trying in vain to lighten the mood. "I'm fine." She followed up.

"That's good to hear, hopefully you won't be on the liquid diet for too much longer." He said. "Right, your results."

Elizabeth's stomach churned as she held her breath, she was squeezing Henry's hand so tight she was worried she would do damaged.

"I'm afraid the mass in your mouth is indeed a malignant tumour." The doctor said.

Elizabeth inhaled deeply and closed her eyes.

"I'm afraid I have some more bad news." The doctor continued. "Our findings indicate that the cancer in your jaw is secondary."

"What!?" Henry said sharply.

"Unfortunately the cancer in your jaw is not the primary source. You have cancer elsewhere in your body. We aren't sure where yet, we will need you to undergo some full body MRI scans in order to locate it. The thinning of your jaw bone indicate that the cancer has become metastatic. I'm so sorry." The doctor said.

Elizabeth's mind was spinning. She had prepared herself for the idea that she would have cancer, but this? Cancer in multiple areas of her body? How did this happen? How could she not have known? All of the questions circled in her head as she tried to control her breathing, she felt nauseous.

"I'm going to be referring you to the GW Cancer Centre." The doctor continued. "There your case will be overseen by an oncologist and they will make a treatment plan and they will discuss with you your options and find the best way forward."

"What is the prognosis?" She whispered, her voice didn't even sound like her own.

"Well, I can't say for sure. The oncologist will be able to give you a more concrete figure, but I can tell you that cancer at this stage, if untreated would give you between three to six months."

"Oh my God." Elizabeth cried, no longer able to hold it all in, her tears began to fall. She forced herself to look at Henry, his face was soaked as his tears came in waves.

"I am going to hand you over to nurse Thompson now, she is one of the nurses from the cancer centre, she has some leaflets and information for you, I wanted here to be here for support." He explained, handing the floor over to her.

"I'm truly sorry this has happened." Nurse Thompson began. "I'd like to tell you a little bit about the GW cancer centre. It really is a nice place, all things considered, lots of windows and comfortable seating areas filled with sunlight. We have three different wards for inpatients. One of the wards is specifically for chemotherapy treatments, this is a day ward – so you will only be visiting for your treatments." She explained. "You will discuss treatment more in depth with your oncologist, but there are several different types; chemotherapy, immunotherapy, radiotherapy. You'll discuss which avenue of treatment will be best suited to you."

Elizabeth tried so hard to keep up with all of the information she was being told, she hoped Henry was able to take it in better than she was. Her mind was on fire, her heart ached; she couldn't believe this was happening.

"Now I realise that this has been a big shock, and you probably aren't taking on board everything I am saying right now, so I have prepared some leaflets for you to take home and read, they recap everything I've said so that you can read it at a later time when you've calmed down a little." The nurse said, handing the leaflets across the table. Henry took them and put them into his jacket pocket.

"I'll send over the referral this morning to the cancer centre." The doctor said. "As its only been a few days since your surgery I doubt a treatment plan would be able to start until the wound is fully healed, but I can look at getting you booked in for the full body MRI scan as soon as possible so that we can locate the primary cancer site."

"Thank you." Elizabeth managed to say. "Thanks for everything." She whispered.

"I'd suggest you both take a walk, get some fresh air. We will be in contact." He finished.

Henry helped Elizabeth to stand up, he put his arms around her shoulders and passed her a clean tissue from his pocket. She took it gratefully and dabbed at her eyes.

"Thank you for your help, doctor." He said, and led Elizabeth out of the room.

* * *

Alison, Stevie and Jason were sitting impatiently in the living room, the news channel playing in the background was filling the silence in the room. The tension was high, each child radiated nervous energy, it was maddening. Stevie looked down at her watch, her parents had left for the hospital ninety minutes ago – surely they knew by now.

"You okay?" Alison whispered from Stevie's left.

"Yeah, just a little scared." Stevie replied.

"Hopefully they'll be home soon." Alison speculated, they continued to sit in silence.

Jason got up from the sofa, he turned the TV off and threw the remote across the room.

"I can't wait for this to be over." He said firmly.

"Jace?" Stevie asked.

"It's killing me, all this waiting, all the uncertainty. I just want to know either way, I can't take this anymore." He cried, his voice trembling.

"We have to be strong for mom." Stevie told him, pulling him into a soft hug. "If it turns out to be cancer, it's going to be the most difficult situation she's ever had to face, she's going to need us behind her, to support her, we can't fall apart Jace."

"It's just not fair." He said angrily. "Why her? She's the best person I've ever known. She doesn't deserve this."

"Nobody deserves this." Alison said. "Come here." She pulled her sibling into a group embrace. They broke apart as the heard the front door open, the stared back towards the hallway.

Henry led Elizabeth into the living room, his hand holding hers. Alison saw the tears falling down her mothers face and her heart sank. She ran towards her mother and engulfed her in a giant hug. Stevie and Jason weren't far behind. All three children enveloped their mother. Elizabeth hated her children having to see her like this, but she couldn't control her emotions as she openly sobbed, stroking her children's hair.

Eventually they broke apart, the children sat on the sofa, Henry and Elizabeth perched on the coffee table. Elizabeth felt a surge of déjá vu from a few days ago, as they sat exactly like this and she had told them about the surgery.

"So, I've got cancer." Elizabeth stated, she picked up the box of tissues that sat on the coffee table and passed it to Stevie. "I was pretty much prepared for the fact that I would." She continued. Steve passed the box of tissues to Alison, who took one and passed it on to Jason. "What I wasn't prepared for was that the cancer that I have is secondary." She explained.

"What does that mean?" Alison asked, as she dabbed her eyes with the tissue.

"It means that the cancer I have is in a late stage. I have a primary cancer somewhere else in my body, they don't know where yet. Some cancer cells broke away from the primary site and set up camp in my jaw."

"How are they going to find the other cancer?" Jason asked.

"I'm waiting for an appointment for a full body MRI, the scans will show where the primary cancer is. Once we know, they can start making a treatment plan for me." Elizabeth explained.

"Once we get your mothers treatment plan, I'm going to be taking some leave from the college to be with her." Henry began. "Take her to her treatments, just be here."

"We discussed it in the car on the way home." Elizabeth said. "We know you didn't want to go to school today and that's perfectly fine. But your dad and I both think it would benefit everybody if things went back to normal in this house as quickly as possible."

"How can things ever go back to normal?" Ali cried. "Nothing about this is normal!"

"I know baby, I know." Elizabeth sighed. "It's the hardest thing any of us have ever had to face. We're just going to have to find a new normal."

Elizabeth and Henry looked up as they heard the house phone ring. Stevie shot up from the couch.

"Crap." She shouted. "I'm sorry, hold on." As she ran to answer the phone.

Elizabeth stared, confused as her daughter walked into the living room with an assortment of snacks and a cake.

"We thought…" She started. "We thought that if the news was good, we could celebrate."

"But instead, now we can drown our sorrows with cake." Alison continued.

Stevie placed the food down on the coffee table and went into the kitchen to get plates and cuttlery.

"You guys, this is really sweet." Elizabeth smiled. "Now give me that cake."


	7. Chapter 7

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Seven**

Elizabeth fought with all of her strength not to freak out, it was essential that she lie very still, the nurses had told her. She was lying inside of an MRI machine for her full body scan, she had been here for only thirty minutes so far, but they'd told her it could be anything up to ninety minutes for a full body scan. She could hear the sound of the radio playing faintly in the room outside but it was hard to focus on, the MRI made terrible loud bangs every few seconds, and it was starting to give her a headache. She closed her eyes and hoped the following hour would pass by quickly.

* * *

Elizabeth was beyond relived to be out of the MRI machine, she dressed quickly, discarding the hospital gown onto the counter in the restroom. She couldn't wait to get out of there. She made the short walk back to the imaging department waiting area where Henry and Alison sat waiting for her. Elizabeth smiled at the sight of them; Henry had his arm around Alison, who was sleeping soundly, with her head on his shoulder. Henry was browsing through his phone with his free hand.

Elizabeth wished Henry would have used this time to catch up on sleep, she was convinced that Henry was barely sleeping just as much as she was. The atmosphere at the house was often tense, she knew her kids were constantly exhausted, but they were all putting on a brave face for her and she really appreciated it.

She walked over to where they were sitting and sat on the chair opposite them. Henry looked up from his phone.

"How did it go?" He asked quietly.

"Extremely boring… and loud." She said.

"Did they say when the results will be?" He asked.

"The usual 'we will contact you' sort of thing." Elizabeth said. "How long has she been sleeping?" she looked at Alison.

"She nodded off about fifteen minutes after we got here." Henry said.

"Poor thing, she must be exhausted." Elizabeth sighed. Henry tapped Alison lightly on the shoulder.

"Time to wake up noodle, mom's finished." He said. Alison stirred.

"Hmm?" Alison yawned. "It's over already?"

"You've been asleep for over an hour." Henry told her.

"How did it go, mom?" Alison asked, sitting up and stretching a little.

"It was fine, baby. Come on, let's go home." Elizabeth said.

* * *

The sun shone brilliantly a few days later as Elizabeth and Henry walked through the doors of the George Washington Cancer Centre. Elizabeth was both nervous and terrified to finally be meeting her oncologist, Dr. Nathaniel Reed. She still hadn't heard back from the results of her MRI yet, she hoped that she would receive them today. As they walked through the foyer Elizabeth marvelled at the sheer amount of windows, it let in so much sunlight. Nurse Thompson hadn't been kidding when she had said the centre was nice.

They followed the signs to the outpatients waiting area and checked in for her appointment, and took a seat. Instead of the hard-plastic chairs they had been so used to, this waiting area boasted sofas and comfy chairs, it was obvious that people spent a lot of time here. There were magazines lying around on various coffee tables, and a huge aquarium built into the wall at the back of the waiting area.

After about twenty minutes Elizabeth's name was called and she stood with Henry, and walked into the doctors office. He stood from his desk and greeted them both. He was young, messy brown hair and very round glasses. He looked as though he must have only recently graduated.

"Good morning, I'm Dr. Nathaniel Reed." He said, offering a seat to each of them. He sat at his computer and pulled up Elizabeths file on the screen.

"Elizabeth McCord…" He said. "I see we're still waiting for the results of your MRI scan from a few days ago… Oh! Don't worry!" He said, noting the look of panic on Elizabeth's face.

"It always takes a few days for them to come through. When they locate the primary cancer, myself and a few other oncologists will convene to decide the best course of action based on where it is." He explained.

"Where do you think it might be?" Elizabeth said.

"Well, it's difficult to say for sure, a lot of patients with cancer of the jaw often find that the primary site was the breast, but that's not set in stone. Obviously breast cancer would actually be the best outcome in this situation."

"Because I could have a mastectomy." Elizabeth finished his sentence.

"Precisely." Dr. Reed said. "Believe me, as soon as the results are here and we have decided on a treatment plan, you will be the first to know. Now tell me, how is the wound site from your surgery, any pain?"

"It's doing fine." Elizabeth said. "I've finally moved back onto solid foods, thank God."

"That's very good to hear." Dr. Reed said. "You need to be eating as much as you can. The cancer will be consuming roughly two thousand calories per day, so you need to make up the deficit as much as you can to stay strong and not lose weight."

"Are you medically advising me to eat cake?" Elizabeth joked.

"Cake, cookies, foods loaded with butter and cream. Eat it all, it's vital you maintain your current weight." He said.

"I plan to take full advantage of that." Elizabeth laughed.

"I see the swelling where the tumour sits is still quite swollen, hows that feeling?" He asked.

"Honestly? It feels kind of numb." Elizabeth admitted. "Like, my bottom lip on that side of my face is just numb."

Dr. Reed moved over to take a closer look at the area to investigate.

"I see." He said. "That could be because the tumour is pressing down on some nerves in that area, causing the numbness. Well, although we cant make any chemotherapy or immunotherapy plans right now, I can schedule you in for radiotherapy to take a blast at that tumour, with any luck it may shrink it a little to relieve some of the pressure."

"That would be great, thank you." Elizabeth said.

"Now Elizabeth, I'm aware your job is quite hectic, it must take a very strong willed character to do what you do." He said.

"It can be challenging sometimes, but I'm on leave at the moment." Elizabeth told him.

"That's well advised. I only mention it because, well – a positive mental attitude can work wonders for a patients recovery from cancer. I'd like you to focus at the moment on keeping a positive mental attitude, do things you enjoy, get fresh air, go for walks, practise mindfulness." He advised.

"Try and fight my cancer with my fighting spirit?" She asked, it sounded ridiculous.

"Not just entirely with your fighting spirit, but this strong positive mental attitude can work wonders, please just give it a try." He argued his case.

"Noted." Elizabeth said.

"Thanks for your understanding." Dr. Reed said, and stood from his desk. "We will be in contact as soon as any treatment plans have been discussed and documented." He finished.

"Okay, thank you doctor, same for the radiotherapy appointment as well, I take it?" She asked as she walked to the office door with Henry.

"You got it." Dr. Reed said, smiling.

"Okay, thank you doctor." Henry said, opening the office door.

Henry and Elizabeth made their way out of the building, walking slowly along the corridor and foyer and back out of the big main doors.

"Want to take a walk?" Henry asked her as they stepped outside.

"Hmm, positive mental attitude." Elizabeth said, thinking. "Do things I enjoy." She stated.

"What?" Henry asked, confused. "What do you feel like doing?"

"Let's go home." Elizabeth said. "And I can do things I enjoy." She smirked at him. He understood what she meant.

"Well okay then." Henry quipped.


	8. Chapter 8

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Eight**

Will Adams sat gingerly on his bunk, cell phone in hand he dialled Elizabeth's number. It had been a few minutes since he'd heard the voicemail.

" _Will, It's Liz. Call me when you get this."_ Elizabeths voice had spoken to him. He wasn't sure exactly what, but something felt wrong, brother's intuition perhaps? Elizabeth normally spoke with a fiery confidence, the voice on his voicemail was anything but. It was monotone and defeated. His stomach churned as the phone rang, waiting for his sister to answer.

"Will." Elizabeth said, as she picked up the phone.

"Lizzie? What's the matter?" He asked, standing up from his bunk.

"How are you?" She asked, her voice still holding the lifeless monotone.

"What's happened? You can tell me." He said, he began pacing the tent.

"Were you in surgery?" Elizabeth asked.

"What?" Will asked, caught off-guard. "Uh, yeah. I was in surgery for a few hours, that's why I missed your call. What's going on? I can tell something's wrong."

"Are you sitting down?" Elizabeth asked.

"Just tell me." Will snapped, he was getting impatient now, he threw himself onto his bunk which creaked with the sudden weight it bore.

"I have cancer." Elizabeth told him.

Will sat up, his heart sinking instantly.

"You have…" He began, but couldn't finish the sentence. "Where? How far along?"

"It's bad, Will." Elizabeth sighed. "It's metastatic. A few weeks ago I noticed a lump inside my mouth on the left hand side. I thought maybe it was an abscess, I went to the dentist, she checked it out and was fairly certain it wasn't. They referred me to the hospital, I had a biopsy, they took samples – We just found out that it's not the primary cancer." She explained.

"A few weeks? Why didn't you tell me?" Will asked, a little hurt to be finding out so late.

"Well, I didn't want to worry you if it turned out to be nothing."

"But I'm your brother!" He snapped.

"Yes, and you're far away, in another country, different time zone, working every hour that God sends." Elizabeth retorted. "I'm telling you now. Please don't shout at me, okay?"

Will sighed and rubbed his eyes with his right hand, he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Alright." He said, finally. "Where is the primary cancer?"

"I don't know yet." Elizabeth sighed. "I had a full body MRI, but I'm still waiting for the results."

"Funny, you'd think as you are the secretary of state, they'd hurry things along a little." He muttered.

"Well, they were very fast in referring me and getting me the biopsy surgery." Elizabeth said.

"Well, we can hope that it's breast cancer." Will noted. "That's probably the best we can hope for…"

"Yes, my oncologist said the same. That's what we're all pinning our hopes on." Elizabeth said.

"How are Henry and the kids taking it?" Will asked.

"Better than I thought, to be honest." Elizabeth began. "I know its torturing them. It tortures me to see them emotionally hurting about this, but I guess it's normal. Everybody deals with it in their own way."

"And how are you?"

"Im… coping." Elizabeth said.

"You always were the strong one." Will sighed.

"I'll call you as soon as I find out anything new, alright?" Elizabeth asked.

"Please do." Will said. "And Lizzie – I'm praying for you."

"Thanks, Will."

Will hung up the phone and threw it onto his bed, he took a few deep breaths and tried to keep himself calm. His head spun wildly, how could this be happening? Why was it happening to his sister? Why not to him? Was there no justice in the world? Suddenly he felt overwhelmed with anger. He picked up the empty glass from his bedside table and violently threw it against the wall.

"Fuck!" He shouted as he let it go, it hit the wall and shattered, falling to the ground.

* * *

Elizabeth sat alone on the sofa in the living room, huddled beneath a blanket she quietly wept to herself. The phone call to Will had been difficult, much more difficult than she had expected. She wasn't sure what she expected anymore, everyone had always described her as this huge force of nature, a fiercely confident and strong woman, but right now she didn't feel as though she was any of these things. How could she have not noticed this cancer raging inside of her?

It was true, she had felt a lot of fatigue recently but she'd put that down to the fact that she was getting older and worked an incredibly stressful job with long hours, never in a million years did she think her fatigue would be symptoms of cancer.

She reached forward and took a tissue from the box sitting on the coffee table, besides it sat a lot of cards she had received over the past week from various different people, Conrad & Lydia, Isabelle, Blake, Jay & the rest of her team. It had been hard to read them, because it felt like she had to fully admit to herself that she was sick. She dabbed at her eyes with the tissue, wiping away the tears, she didn't want her family to see her like this. As she thought it she heard the key in the lock and the front door open.

"Babe?" Henry called out as he walked into the kitchen. Elizabeth turned around and peeked over the back of the sofa. Henry was carrying two giant paper grocery bags and set them down on the counter. He noticed her red puffy eyes and walked over to the sofa and enveloped her in a hug.

"What can I do?" Henry asked, wishing her could make her pain go away.

"Just hold me." Elizabeth cried out, as she sobbed into his chest. Time seemed to stand still as he held her tight, he absent mindedly stroked her hair as she cried. He wished with every fiber of his being that she didn't have to go through this, he would give anything even just to swap places with her, so he could be the one riddled with cancer, and she could be safe. Eventually as time passed, Elizabeth sobs lessened, whether from exhaustion or from feeling a little better, Henry didn't know.

"I told Will." Elizabeth said quietly.

"How did he take it?" Henry asked.

"Not great." Elizabeth said, sitting up and grabbing another tissue to blow her nose. "He was mad I'd waited so long to tell him."

"Take no notice." Henry said. "How are you feeling?" He asked.

"My head is pounding and I'm tired." Elizabeth said.

"You're probably dehydrated, you've been crying for –" He paused to look at his watch "Forty five minutes. Here – I'll get you some water."

Henry got up from the couch and returned with a glass of water for Elizabeth, she took it from him gratefully and began to drink.

"Do you want any pain killers?" Henry asked. Elizabeth shook her head.

"I think I want to go to bed." She said. "I'm exhausted."

"Would you like me to join you?" He asked.

Elizabeth rose from the sofa and threw the blanket back down into the space she had been sitting. She planted a delicate kiss on Henry's lips.

"I think I just want to be alone." She said. "You should be here for when the kids get home from school." And she started to make her way up the stairs.

"Okay babe." Henry sighed. "Shout if you need anything."

"I will." She said as she climbed the stairs and disappeared around the corner.


	9. Chapter 9

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Nine**

The day had finally arrived. Elizabeth had received the phone call from Dr. Reed's secretary yesterday afternoon, an appointment had been set up for the following afternoon. The results were in, and she was terrified. It was a struggle to maintain her composure as she walked into the cancer centre, Henry right be her side. She felt as though she was walking to her own execution.

The wait to be seen was minimal, after ten minutes they were called into the doctors office, it took every ounce of strength Elizabeth had to make herself move, she took deep breaths as Henry led her into the office and they took their seats.

"Good afternoon." Dr. Reed said. "And how are we both this morning?" He asked.

"That's a silly question." Elizabeth snapped, she'd been waiting far too long now, she needed to know.

"We received your results from the MRI scans, after a lengthy debate at our weekly round-table, I'm truly sorry to inform you that the scans indicated that the primary cancer is in your lungs." Dr. Reed explained.

"My lungs? What?" The questions spilled out. "I've never smoked a cigarette in my life!" she cried.

"Unfortunately you don't have to be a smoker to develop lung cancer, I'm afraid. It happens." He said.

Elizabeth felt overwhelmed, she had pinned her hopes so heavily on the primary source being breast cancer, she hadn't even prepared herself for the possibility that it could be elsewhere.

"So what happens now?" Henry asked from beside her. "Treatment? Surgery?" He could sense his wife's world absolutely shattering around him, so he asked the questions she could not ask right now.

"I'm afraid surgery is a no-go. The location of the tumour is an extremely difficult area and surgery would be far too risky. I'm afraid it's inoperable." He explained.

"So what does that mean?" Elizabeth finally asked, finding her voice again.

"We can still give you palliative care, we had devised a treatment plan for you. We are going to start with chemotherapy." Dr. Reed said, handing a sheet of information and dates to Elizabeth, she took it and began to browse over it. "You will have treatment every three weeks for the foreseeable future" He continued.

"Okay…" Elizabeth said, taking it all in. "And what do we hope this will achieve?"

"At best, we would hope that it would shrink the tumours in your jaw and lungs, ultimately slowing the spread of cancer, but unfortunately not curing it."

Elizabeth closed her eyes in an effort to stop the tears that had been threatening to fall. So this was it. Incurable cancer, slowing the spread.

"And how long would you say I have left?" Elizabeth whispered.

"Well, there are other treatments we can try. No one can say for certain, but on average the survival rate of patients with stage four metastatic cancer usually last two years."

 _Fuck. Two years. Seven hundred and thirty days._ She thought to herself. _So this is how I'm going to go._

"What are these other treatments you mentioned?" Henry asked.

"Well, as I'm sure you're aware, new treatments are coming out all the time for cancer. One of the latest developments is something called immunotherapy. Not everyone is suitable however, we will need to grow some cultures and see whether immunotherapy would be a viable treatment for Elizabeth."

"Do it." Elizabeth said, blankly.

"I must forewarn you, it's not a cure, but it has been proven to be more effective than chemotherapy, and therefore may buy you some more time. Immunotherapy is different in that it helps your body's immune system to recognise and fight the cancer, whereas chemotherapy destroys everything, good and bad."

Suddenly, Elizabeth remembered something.

"I'm due to have the radiotherapy for my jaw cancer at the end of the week." She highlighted.

"That'll still be fine to go ahead." Dr. Reed said "You can have both treatments at the same time. If you refer to the info sheet I just gave you, you'll see that the first chemotherapy treatment is due to start on Monday. I can see from your records you are booked in for radiotherapy on Friday afternoon, this works out quite well." He explained.

"Before each treatment you will need to undergo a pre-assessment before the treatment can go ahead. It's just a blood test so that we can check your white blood cell count. If you come in a little earlier on Friday and go up to the day ward on the first floor, you'll be able to have your bloods done." He finished.

"I see." Elizabeth said. "So, I probably know most of this already, but what side effects can I expect to have from the chemotherapy?" She asked.

"Well it's difficult to say exactly which side effect you will encounter, but obviously there's the nausea, fatigue, hair loss." He listed "Some patients experiences a loss of appetite, mouth ulcers. We will be on hand to prescribe you any medications that will make the process easier for you to deal with." He said.

"Okay." Elizabeth said, defeated.

"I understand how overwhelming this all must be. We are going to give you the best care we can, and we will be behind you every step of the way." Dr. Reed said.

"Thank you." Elizabeth said, she and Henry stood and slowly made their way out of the doctors office. Finding out the news had been difficult but an even scarier task awaited them; telling the kids. Elizabeth didn't even know how to go about it, this news was going to destroy them, it was destroying her.

Not only would she have to tell the children, she still had to tell Will. She'd also have to tell Conrad, she figured she'd have to resign from her job; if she only had two years left to live then she wanted to make sure that she spent every possible second of it with Henry and the kids.

* * *

Stevie sat on a bench outside of the lecture hall on campus, her lecture had concluded over thirty minutes ago, but for some reason Stevie couldn't find the courage to go home yet. She was terrified about what would be waiting for her when she got there. She closed her eyes as she sat in the sun, wishing in vain that she could be anybody else right now. She just wanted life to go back to normal, which sadly, deep down she knew it never could.

She checked her watch, another fifteen minutes had passed, she wasn't sure how much longer she was going to be able to avoid going home. It's not that she didn't want to see her mother – Stevie adored both of her parents. College was challenging, it pushed her to her limits even on a good day, add in her mother's cancer and she had started to feel a little unable to cope. This was her issue though, and she was going to have to learn to deal with it, the last thing her mother needed right now was one of her kids suffering a mental breakdown.

She was proud of how Alison and Jason seemed to be coping given the current circumstances, although much younger than she was, they seemed to be dealing with it a hell of a lot better than she was right now. They'd done everything they could to keep the atmosphere at home as normal as it could be, even though on many nights they'd all come home from school to find their mother already asleep, the cancer clearly was exhausting her.

At least after tonight, her mothers treatment could begin, she'd known that the results were this afternoon. Once her treatment began and she'd pulled her way through, perhaps her mum would start feeling like herself again and life would go back to normal, she hoped - she prayed. Feeling as though she couldn't avoid the situation any longer, Stevie got up from her seat and started walking in the direction of home.

It was almost six by the time Stevie arrived back at the house, she hung her coat up on the rack and made her way into the kitchen, scared of what she was about to walk into. The rest of her family were all sat around the kitchen table, Ali and Jason were scrolling through their phones. Jason looked up from his phone and scowled at her.

"Where the hell have you been?" He asked angrily.

"Um, school?" Stevie said, confused.

"We've been waiting for you to get back for two hours." Ali said, not looking up from her phone screen.

"Yeah, and mom wouldn't tell us the news until all three of us were home." Jason complained.

"Alright, I'm sorry! I'm here now." She sighed. "So what's the news?" She asked

"Come and sit with us, sweetie." Elizabeth said, motioning to the empty chair that sat across from her at the table. Her voice sounded as though it belonged to someone else, she didn't recognise it. Stevie walked over to the table and slumped into the seat, folding her arms. Silence fell amongst the McCord's as Elizabeth tried to find the words to tell them.

"I love you all so, so much." She began, trying to hold it together, a single tear began to fall.

"Mom –" Ali began. Elizabeth held her hand up, indicating that she wasn't finished speaking.

"I'm afraid I got some bad news today." She said, taking a deep breath. "The primary cancer is in my lungs, and it's inoperable." She explained. Alison let out an audible, heart breaking gasp, both hands covered her mouth, Jason stared at his mother, not blinking.

"What's the prognosis?" Stevie managed to finally ask, feeling as though her heart had been ripped out, stamped on, and the put back into her body.

"Well, there's treatments I can have," Elizabeth began. "All palliative." She followed up as Jason and Ali's eyes lit up, hopefully. "I'm starting chemo next week. The doctors can't be sure but they said that on average, patients with stage four lung cancer like I have usually only last two years." She explained, this was the most difficult thing she'd ever had to do, her heart was breaking as she watched Alison burst into tears, Jason had his head in his hands and Stevie looked lost.

"I'm so sorry." She cried. "I wish it was better news."

"Mom!" Alison sobbed and ran the the other side of the table and threw herself at her mother, Stevie joined her as they swarmed Elizabeth, pulling her into a tight embrace.

Jason slammed his fists into the wooden table angrily.

"I can't believe this." He shouted. "I can't, I don't – " He whimpered unable to find the words to explain how he was feeling. Henry walked over to his son and pulled him into a hug.

"It's okay." Henry said quietly. "You can cry."

Jason sobbed again and again, gasping for breath as he hugged his father. Henry tried to hold himself together but his tears began to fall shortly after. He didn't know how any of them were supposed to make it through this, but whatever happened – at least they would all be together.


	10. Chapter 10

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Ten**

Chemo day had finally arrived, Elizabeth had received the go-ahead from the cancer centre on Friday evening when she'd got home from her radiotherapy session. Her white blood cell count was fine and her doctors were happy that her treatment could go ahead.

She was nervous, chemotherapy was the second in a long list of firsts that she was going to have to endure. Radiotherapy in hindsight wasn't too bad, it had been scary, having her head fixed to the table underneath a netted mask so she couldn't move, while a laser targeted the area of her jaw where the tumour sat. The side effect hadn't been too bad, she was mainly tired and felt as though she had bad sunburn, she could handle that.

Henry held her hand as they made their way up to the day ward on the first floor of the building. Elizabeth took a seat in the waiting area while Henry checked her in for her appointment. She didn't have to wait too long before they called her in to do some preliminary checks of her height and weight.

"This is so we can mix up your batch of chemo specifically for you." The nurse said, while jotting down the figures on her clipboard. Elizabeth smiled at her as she stepped off the scales and began to put her shoes back on.

"You can go back to the waiting room now," The nurse said. "We'll call you through when your dose is ready."

"Okay, thanks." Elizabeth said, and she left the room and returned to Henry.

Thirty minutes later they were called in for the treatment to begin. They led Elizabeth and Henry to the ward, where instead of beds in each bay, there were comfy looking armchairs, small tables and small hard-plastic chairs opposite for the patients family or friends. The nurse gestured towards an empty bay near the window and Elizabeth sat in the arm chair and Henry sat opposite her. A TV hanging on the wall in the bay was playing soft, relaxing music.

A different nurse approached them with a pillow and a few different medical supplies.

"Okay Elizabeth, I'm going to be hooking you up now." She said, she slid the pillow underneath Elizabeths left arm so that it had something comfy to rest on. "Got to make sure you're comfortable, you'll be with us for 6 to 8 hours I'm afraid."

"Wonderful." Elizabeth joked.

The nurse wiped Elizabeths arm and applied tourniquet to her upper arm, when the vein had raised, she unpackaged the needle and began to apply the IV to her.

"Sharp scratch." The nurse said, as the needle went in. It was quick and fairly painless, and just like that, Elizabeth was hooked up to the IV. The nurse then picked up the bag of clear fluid from the tray beside her and hung it on the pole.

"This is your chemo." The nurse said as she pressed a few buttons on the monitor, setting the IV running. The liquid slowly dripped from the bag into the tube, which flowed ever so slowly into Elizabeth's veins. "That's all from me for now, I'll be back to change the bag when it's finished, sit tight and let us know if you need anything."

"Thanks." Elizabeth said.

"So how does it feel?" Henry asked from the opposite side of the table.

"It's fine." Elizabeth said. "Kind of feels the same as giving blood."

"You are so strong." Henry said, in awe of her.

"I don't feel strong." Elizabeth muttered.

"You're the bravest, strongest woman I've ever known. You amaze me." Henry told her.

* * *

Seven hours later Elizabeth still sat in the armchair, she could see her latest fluid bag was almost empty and she couldn't wait to be free. The day had dragged but Henry had done his best to keep her entertained, she'd helped him to do a few crosswords and they'd spent the afternoon reminiscing about the past.

"You know what I'd love to do?" Elizabeth asked.

"What? Anything you want, it's yours." Henry said.

"I wanna go to the cabin for the weekend." Elizabeth said. "Wouldn't it just be great; you, me, the kids.." She began.

"It does sound wonderful." Henry smiled. "We need to see how you're feeling first though." He reminded her.

"Pfft." She sighed, waving her hand at him. "I'm not going to let a little chemotherapy stop me from spending time with my family."

"Elizabeth McCord, unstoppable force of nature." Henry joked.

"Can we go? Please?" Elizabeth begged, giving Henry her very best impression of a puppy dog.

"I'll speak to the kids." Henry said, finally. "But we're going to have to talk to your nurses and make sure everything is okay for you to be able to go."

"Fine…" Elizabeth sighed, feeling defeated suddenly feeling like her life wasn't her own anymore.

"I promise, if everything is okay, we will definitely go up to the cabin." Henry assured her.

"Okay." Elizabeth said, trying not to sound too disappointed, she knew that Henry was only looking out for what was best for her, and she couldn't hold that against him. She was roused from her thoughts as the machine hooked to IV started beeping obnoxiously.

"Oh thank God." Elizabeth sighed with relief, it was finally over. One of the nurses came over and unhooked her from the machine, they held a cotton swap to the injection site and taped it in place.

"There you go, all done." The nurse said as she began to unhook everything from the IV.

"So, back in three weeks time?" Elizabeth asked, as the nurse was finishing up.

"Yes, call in 2 or 3 days prior to have your blood tested like this time." The nurse informed her.

"I was wondering if.." Elizabeth began, noting how child-like her voice was sounding. "If I'd be able to go away for the weekend."

"Well that all really depends on how you're feeling." The nurse explained "You may feel fine today, maybe even tomorrow – some side effects may start to present themselves on day three. You'll also have a much weaker immune system from the chemo, so you have to be very careful. If your temperature goes above a hundred, we're going to need you to call us and come in urgently so that we can get it under control."

"I understand." Elizabeth said. "Any signs of fever, call you."

"See you in three weeks time." The nurse said. Henry packed away his things that he'd place on the table and helped Elizabeth to stand up.

"Ready to get out of here?" He asked, being careful holding her left arm.

"So ready" Elizabeth said. "Can we get Chinese food for dinner?"

Henry laughed as he led her out of the day ward and toward the elevator.

"You can have anything you want." Henry said, smiling at her.

* * *

By that evening the fatigue had seriously set in for Elizabeth, she guessed it was a combination of having both radiotherapy and chemotherapy so close together, coupled with the fact that she hadn't slept properly since she'd been given her diagnosis. She was collapsed on the living room sofa with her her head perched on Henry's lap. Amongst the chaos that had become their home life recently, tonight seemed almost normal. Jason sat on the floor playing his video games as he so often did in the evenings, Ali sat in an arm chair scrolling through her phone. Elizabeth smiled a little, it was nice having a sense of normality back in the house.

In a way, although the cancer was devastating her family, she felt it had brought them all closer together, there was rarely a moment these days when the kids were home from school where they weren't by Elizabeth's sides, and she had to admit, she was liking it.

"Hey guys." They heard Stevie call from the front door. "How's it going?" Steve joined them and perched herself on the coffee table opposite the sofa.

"How was school?" Elizabeth said sleepily, happy to see her eldest daughter.

"It was fine." Stevie began. "But never mind me, how are you? How did it go?" She asked.

"It was long, and God it was boring." Elizabeth frowned.

"Yeah I'm not very good at entertaining." Henry joked. Elizabeth playfully slapped his leg.

"You know what I mean." She said. "But really, I'm feeling fine tonight, just exhausted."

"Well, I guess that's good." Stevie said. "I'm glad you're taking it easy."

"Yeah, about that." Elizabeth said, pulling herself into a sitting position. "How would you guys feel about going up to the cabin this weekend?"

"Are you sure you're up to that?" Alison asked.

"Well, I want to spend time with you all, somewhere away from here. I'm not going to let this get the better of me." Elizabeth said, pleading her case.

"I'm up for it." Jason said from the floor.

"Okay, well I'll book it." Henry said. "But if you start feeling unwell, we're gonna have to cancel.."

"I promise, If I start feeling unwell you will be the first person to know." Elizabeth said, smiling knowing she'd finally broke him down, and they would be able to go. Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she reached in to get it.

"It's Blake." Elizabeth said aloud, as she swiped open the message.

_B: Ma'am – I have the day off tomorrow and I was wondering if it'd be possible to come see you. I understand if you'd rather I didn't though._

_E: Blake, please, call me Elizabeth, you don't work for me anymore. You're a friend, not a colleague. It probably is best if you do come tomorrow, had chemo today and they said the side effect will kick in on Wednesday so you don't wanna be here for that._

_B: I'll be there around midday. I'll bring your favourite muffins._

_E: Thanks, see you then._

"He's going to come visit tomorrow." Elizabeth said, as she turned the screen off and returned the phone to her pocket.

"That'll be nice." Henry agreed.

"Is it weird not working anymore?" Alison asked.

Elizabeth paused at the question, truthfully she hadn't had much time to think about it with everything going on. She missed the people greatly, especially Blake. Although she did miss her job, she didn't think she could handle work on top of everything that she was going through; and she needed to spend any time she had left with her family.

"It's a little weird I guess." Elizabeth said. "But now I guess my new job is fighting cancer."

"That's an interesting way to look at it." Henry said.

"Well, I'm not going to let it get the best of me if I can help it." Elizabeth told them all.

"God mom, you're so strong." Stevie admitted.

"Well, I'm exhausted so I'm going to finally go and sleep. I love you all." Elizabeth said, getting up from the sofa, she headed for the stairs.

"Goodnight mom." Her three children called after her in unison.


	11. Chapter 11

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Eleven**

Blake Moran stood on the porch outside of Elizabeth McCord's Georgetown home, he hadn't quite built up the courage to ring the doorbell just yet. Cradling a box of muffins in his left arm, he stood in silence, wondering what he was about to walk into, how he would react, how his ex-boss would be.

Though Blake projected the image of perfection to everyone around him, he was finding it hard to hide just how much he had been struggling at work since Elizabeth had gone on medical leave, and eventually resigned altogether. He had a special bond with his boss, she _had_ handpicked him for the job after all, there was a chemistry there that he doubted he would ever find in the workplace again. Morale had been low in the office over the past few weeks as Elizabeth's staff came to terms with the fact that their boss wasn't coming back.

Deputy secretary Cushing, now the new secretary of state had been understanding with them all knowing that his staff had been through a lot, losing Vincent Marsh and now Elizabeth McCord had cancer.

They didn't know the full extent of the cancer, but Blake had guessed it must be bad for Elizabeth to have resigned, the woman was a natural and adored her job, only something life changing and devastating could have ever made her want to part from it. Blake assumed he was going to find out just how bad the situation was this afternoon, and for a brief moment he was too scared to ring the doorbell. If he chose to stay blissfully ignorant of the situation, surely it couldn't get any worse, he wasn't sure he could handle any more bad news.

It took every ounce of bravery he had to press that doorbell, his heart raced as he heard someone approach the front door and slowly open it. Elizabeth was standing in the hallway, her eyes lit up when she saw him on the doorstep.

"Blake!" She said happily, pulling him into a hug. "Come in, come in!" She stood to the side to allow him to enter the house.

"Good afternoon ma'am." Blake said automatically "Oh, uh, sorry – Elizabeth." He corrected himself.

"Still weird, huh?" Elizabeth asked, as she closed the front door.

"Extremely." Blake admitted.

"Can I get you something to drink?" She asked, leading him into the kitchen.

"Oh, no." Blake said quietly, holding out the box of muffins. "Your muffins, as promised." He placed them on the kitchen counter.

"Thanks, God I'm starving, good timing." She said, opening the box she took one out and made to hand it over to him.

"No thanks, watching what I eat." Blake said, smiling lightly.

"Your loss." She shrugged, and began to eat. "You know, they actually told me I'm meant to eat all the cakes and crap I want." She continued.

"The cancer consumes two thousand calories a day." Blake stated. Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

"You made a binder on this, didn't you?" She joked.

"Not exactly, just hours of research." Blake admitted.

Elizabeth smiled at him, what a good find he'd been all those years ago. Blake stared deeply at her, it had been weeks now since he last saw her, the last thing he'd done was schedule the dental appointment for her. She was still the same old Elizabeth but she seemed so tired; Blake was starting to wonder just how much sleep she was getting, if any at all, and she was a little paler than normal.

"Shall we go sit down?" Blake asked.

"Absolutely." Elizabeth said, they both walked to the living room, Blake took refuge on one of the arm chairs and Elizabeth slumped on the sofa, muffin still in hand.

"How's everybody at the office?" She asked.

"Oh, they're fine. We all miss you." Blake admitted. "The office is different these days.." he offered up.

"I understand." Elizabeth said sympathetically. "Well I guess I owe you an explanation as to why I resigned." She continued.

"You don't owe us anything." Blake said, surprised. "We just want you to get better."

He noticed a sad smile being to appear on Elizabeth's face, as she placed her muffin down on the coffee table in front of her.

"Blake, I'm not going to get better." She told him.

"Don't say that!" Blake said. "You just had chemo yesterday, give it a chance."

"Blake –" Elizabeth said, trying to take back control of the conversation.

"And there are other treatments I'm sure they haven't tried yet, they're coming out with alsorts of new treatments every day for cancer, I read about it when I was doing my research." He continued, his voice was high and he was speaking incredibly fast, as he often did when he was in a panic.

"Blake, please." Elizabeth said, holding her hand up. "The primary source of my cancer is in my lungs." She continued "It's inoperable, there's nothing they can do but try and delay the inevitable."

Blake had fallen silent, he looked like a deer infront of headlights. He slowly brought his hand up to his mouth, which had fallen open.

"I see." He managed to eventually say. "How long have you known?" He asked.

"About a week." Elizabeth said.

"How long –" He began, his voice sounding a little choked. "If you don't mind – how long do you have?"

"Maybe two years." Elizabeth told him. Blake closed his eyes forcefully – this couldn't be real. How could this be happening? She was the most amazing woman he'd ever met, he had aspired to be like her, hell – he still aspired to be like her. How could a flame that burned as brightly as hers be snuffed out so easily, in just two years time? He knew he shouldn't be doing this but he couldn't control his emotions as tears began to stream down his face.

"H-How are doing coping?" Blake asked.

"I'm taking each day as it comes." Elizabeth explained. "If I try and think too far ahead, it sends me into a full-blown panic attack. I'm focusing on my family and trying to kick the cancer's ass as best I can. I won't let it claim me any earlier than it's expected to."

"Ma'am, you are so strong." Blake cried, wiping at his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket.

"Everybody keeps saying that." Elizabeth frowned. "The truth is, I don't feel strong."

"Oh no, you're strong." Blake said. "You never take anything sitting down, you fight until the end." He sighed.

"Only this time I won't win." Elizabeth whispered.

"If there's anything at all I can do for you – " Blake began.

"Actually, there is." Elizabeth said, sitting up a little.

"Anything." Blake said, looking at her expectantly.

"I know this is a long way off, two years in fact – but I've been thinking about it a lot over the past week. When I'm gone, I know Henry and the kids are going to find it hard, I was thinking about writing them each a letter – I was hoping you'd hold onto them for me and when the time comes…" She didn't finish her sentence.

"It would be an honour." Blake told her.

Elizabeth closed her eyes, suddenly overcome by a wave of nausea. _Already?_ She thought, this wasn't supposed to hit at least until tomorrow. She took deep breaths and tried to will herself to not throw up.

"Ma'am?" Blake asked, sitting forward and looking concerned. Elizabeth shook her head, trying to keep control, but it wasn't working, her mouth started to water.

"Trash can." Elizabeth managed to say.

"What?" Blake asked, confused.

"Trash can!" Elizabeth said again, pointing fast to the small metal trash bin that sat by the coffee table. Blake was hit with the sudden realisation of what was happening, he grabbed the trash bin as fast as he could and thrust it into her waiting hands, and just in time. Elizabeth began to vomit violently into the bin.


	12. Chapter 12

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Twelve**

The weekend had finally arrived, and to Elizabeth's great relief, most of the nausea had begun to pass. After her embarrassing incident with Blake, she'd called her oncologist who had managed to prescribe her some anti-sickness medication which had really helped.

To her delight she and Henry had arrived at the cabin in the early hours of the afternoon that Friday, slowly they unpacked the car and put their food away in the fridge. Henry started a fire in the living room and they sat together on the sofa holding each other – it was bliss. It was silent, Elizabeth liked it. No mention of the word cancer – it almost felt like normal life, the kids weren't due to arrive until the early evening as they were all in school.

"This might be one of the greatest ideas you've ever come up with." Henry said happily, cuddling his wife.

"I've been known to come up with good ones from time to time." She said.

"How are you feeling?" Henry asked.

"I'm fine, apart from the tiredness I don't even feel ill." Elizabeth said truthfully. "I can't wait for the kids to get here." She followed up. Henry checked his watch, two pm.

"We still have a few hours to kill." Henry said, matter of factly, Elizabeth turned and faced him, he tried hard to surpress a laugh as she gave him _the_ look.

"Are you sure?" Henry asked.

"Never been more sure." Elizabeth said, smiling brightly at him. It was nice to see her smiling again, he felt like he hadn't seen her smile for weeks.

"Well then, if you're sure." Henry said, as he picked her up from the sofa and carried her in his arms to the master bedroom. Elizabeth laughed all the way, he thought it was such a beautiful sound.

* * *

The kids arrived at six that evening, and with their arrival marked the end of the serene silence had grown so used to. She watched as the three of them piled through the front door, her heart held overwhelming love for each of them. They ate dinner together and the kids told her all about their days at school, after they had finished eating Alison and Stevie had cleaned the dishes and then the five of them all sat together in the living room to play cards. When the game finished, they all tried to decide what they wanted to play next.

"Monopoly?" Jason suggested.

"I'm not playing that game with you, you always cheat!" Alison said, accusingly.

"I do not, you're just bad." Jason retorted.

"I'm not playing Monopoly." Alison said. Stevie walked over to the bookcase to see what other games the cabin held.

"Well, we've got Pictionary." Stevie said, reading the boxes.

"Actually, hold on, I think I have a better idea." Jason said. "I'll be right back." He ran into one of the bedrooms and emerged a few seconds later with his backpack held in his hands. He made his way back to the living are and sat on the floor in front of the coffee table.

"It's called Cards Against Humanity." Jason said, pulling a black box out of his backpack, handing it over to Elizabeth on the sofa. She took the box and looked it over.

"A party game for horrible people." Elizabeth read.

"Jason, it's not very appropriate." Stevie cautioned.

"Come on! You'll enjoy it." Jason said, staring at his parents.

"Well, I guess I could use a laugh." Elizabeth said, looking over to Henry.

"I'm up for it." Henry said. "How do you play."

"So, there's two types of cards, black and white." Alison explained as she removed the lid from the box, she grabbed a thick stack of white cards and began to shuffle them. "We each get ten white cards, they all have words or phrases on them."

"How about us three do a practise round to show mom and add how it works?" Jason suggested.

Alison began to deal out the white cards one by one, until each child had ten cards.

"Okay, so we're going to take turns drawing a black card, you have to till the blanks with your white cards." She said. "Stevie, you can do the honours."

"I can't believe we're playing this with our parents." Stevie muttered, as she picked a black card out of the box and read it aloud. "When you get right down to it **blank** is just **blank**."

"So now we look through our white cards and fill the blanks with the answer we think is the funniest or most offensive." Alison said, chuckling as she passed her two cards to Steve and Jason passed over his.

"Okay here goes," Stevie said. "Jason's first – When you get right down to it **an unhinged ferris wheel rolling towards the sea** is just **a windmill full of corpses**."

All three kids erupted into laughter, Henry and Elizabeth looked at each other as if waiting to give the other permission to laugh.

"That's pretty terrible." Elizabeth said, chuckling.

"Well, it's a party game for horrible people." Jason said, reminding her.

"Okay, Alison's turn." Stevie said, pulling Alisons cards to the front. "When you get right down to it **a stampede of Black Friday shoppers** is just **the world's worst human being**."

"I have really sucky cards." Alison complained, well aware there was no competition between her and Jason's answers.

"So now, you vote on who has the best answer and that person wins the black card." Stevie said. "No question about that, Jace wins hands down"

"Why thank you dear sister." Jason said, taking the card and picking out a new black card to read from the box. "Disney presents **blank** on ice!" He read aloud. Alison and Stevie consulted their cards as they searched for the funniest answers, they each handed one white card to Jason.

"Okay first up, Alison – let's hope you did better than the last round." He said, picking her card from the two. "Disney presents **nuns** on ice – not bad." He retrieved Stevie's card and sniggered as he began to read it out loud. "Disney presents **stabbing spree** on ice." He laughed heartily as he passed the black card over to Stevie who took it into her card deck proudly.

"So how are you supposed to win this game?" Henry asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well you play as long as you want, or the rest of your party run out of white cards." Jason explained.

"The person who reads the black card doesn't play in that round." Alison followed up; she picked a black card from the game box.

"Next time on Dr. Phil, how to talk to your child about **blank**." Alison read. "Aw damn, I had such a good card for this." She complained. She took Stevie and Jason's answers from them and started to read.

"I'll start with Stevie. Next time on Dr. Phil, how to talk to your child about **being on fire**." Jason and Alison laughed, the game really was terrible.

"And now let's see what filth Jason has come up with…" Alison said, pulling his card to the top of the deck. "Next time on Dr. Phil, how to talk to your child about **penis sock puppets.** Oh my god, Jace! That's gross! I can't believe you made me read that!" Ali shouted as she threw the black card at her brother.

"So, what do you guys think? You want to play the next round?" Jason asked, sitting up on the floor.

"Ha, as enlightening as that was." Elizabeth began, she looked at her watch. "It's getting pretty late and I'm feeling quite tired and I think I'm gonna catch some sleep." She said, she looked over at Henry. She got up and he immediately jumped up after her.

"Right there with you, babe." Henry said, they both laughed as they left their children to play their terrible game in the cabin living room.


	13. Chapter 13

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Thirteen**

Elizabeth sat on her bed surrounded by wrapping paper and gifts, it was only October but she'd decided she wanted to get way ahead of the game this year and make sure that everything was prepared and ready for Christmas. She figured if she did little things here and there, the stress would be way less on the lead up to the big day.

She had been continuing her three weekly schedule of chemotherapy treatments, she'd got into the rhythm of how things went now; week one – fatigue, week two – terrible nausea, week three – starting to heal. It was like clock-work, it always followed the same pattern. She couldn't lie to herself, the treatments were taking it out of her, but she wouldn't lie down and let it beat her, she was dead set on fighting this cancer until her last breath.

It had been surprisingly difficult to maintain her weight, as much as she tried to eat delicious foods, the weight was falling off of her and her doctors weren't pleased, they'd said that if she continued to lose weight at the rate she currently was, they'd need to prescribe special milkshakes that were packed with calories to try and make up the deficit.

She had been more than relieved to find that she hadn't lost any hair as a side effect of the chemotherapy. The cancer had taken a huge toll on her body, and her hair wasn't as beautiful as it used to be, it had lost it's shine and was a lot thinner than usual, but thankfully it hadn't fallen out.

"I know you'd be too stubborn to lose your hair." Henry had joked over the following weeks.

Her mood had been up lately despite everything going on, but the truth was her 3 monthly MRI scan was coming up and it weighed on her thoughts. The scan would finally indicate whether the chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatments were having any effect. As the scan date approached she had started to not sleep as well, and often had nightmares that the doctors would tell her that the treatments weren't working and that there was nothing more they could do.

She knew she was being unreasonable, even if the chemotherapy wasn't working as well as it should, her doctors had always said from the get-go that there were a lot of other treatments they could try. She needed to stay calm and focus on her positive mental attitude.

She finished wrapping the pair of socks in front of her and added a tag to the package, she then placed the wrapped gift on the pile to her left. Henry walked in from the bathroom, freshly showered.

"Did I miss something? It's December already?" He joked, seeing his wife surrounded by gifts and wrapping paper on the bed.

"I'm trying to stay ahead of the mayhem." Elizabeth said, throwing a ball of screwed up wrapping paper at him, he quickly dodged and the paper ball hit the wall and fell to the ground.

"We'll stay on top of it." Henry said. "You know I'll help you."

"Henry McCord you can't wrap a gift to save your life." Elizabeth laughed. "It always looks like a five year old has wrapped it."

"Well, you can wrap, I'll write the tags." Henry suggested.

"Deal." Elizabeth nodded, and handed him the pen. Henry removed the small pile of gifts and placed them at the foot of the bed to make room for himself and he sat next to his wife. She handed him the gift she had just finished wrapping.

"Who's this for?" He asked, taking the gift and picking up a tag from the packet.

"Ali." Elizabeth said, and she resumed wrapping the next gift from the pile, a new X Box controller for Jason. Henry took the lid off the pen with his mouth and started to write the tag, then he stuck it to the gift with some tape. He looked over and saw Elizabeth wrapping the new controller.

" _Another_ controller?" He asked, rolling his eyes.

"Yep, this new Call of Duty thingy he's playing keeps making him rage." Elizabeth said. She finished taping the edges of the gift and handed it over to Henry.

"I worry about him." Henry said, writing out the tag for the gift. "He seems angrier than usual lately."

"Can you blame him?" Elizabeth said, absent mindedly as she began to cut the wrapping paper to the appropriate size for Stevie's new pyjamas.

"I don't think it's healthy." Henry said. "Maybe we should talk to him?"

"I think when he's ready, he'll talk to us." She replied.

"Maybe he needs to talk to a professional." Henry suggested. "Maybe he won't want to talk to us? Plus, these controllers are damn expensive, he can't keep breaking them every time he gets mad."

"Well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Elizabeth said. She threw the newly wrapped pyjamas to Henry. "Stevie." She told him, and he wrote the tag.

* * *

A crisp November morning greeted Elizabeth and Henry as they made their way, once again to the cancer centre. It was results day for Elizabeth and her stomach was doing somersaults in anticipation of what news she was going to receive, was all of this pain and struggle she faced every day finally paying off?

Henry held her hand as he led her up to the doctors office, she often found that he was becoming her strength when she felt like she couldn't go on, and she was grateful every day to have him. Elizabeth was exhausted, she hadn't slept at all the night before due to nerves and Henry had waited up all night with her, she knew he must be exhausted too.

"No matter what happens, we'll get through it." He'd reassured her at three o'clock in the morning.

She felt a strange sense of déjà vu as they walked into Dr. Reeds office, remembering doing the same thing twelve weeks ago, feeling almost the same as she did right now. The doctor greeted them and gestured towards the seats on the opposite side of his desk. Elizabeth and Henry sat and looked at him expectantly.

"Good morning." The doctor said cheerily. "Well let's get straight into it shall we?" He asked, opening the file in front of him.

"You'll be very happy to know Elizabeth, that your twelve weekly MRI scans indicate that the tumour in your jaw has been shrinking, I'm sure you may have had an idea that this was the case, you have regained feeling in the area, am I correct?" He asked.

"Oh my God." Elizabeth said, bringing her hand up to her face. "I hadn't even made the connection, the feeling has been slowly coming back over the past few weeks, I never even thought it was because the tumour was shrinking."

Dr. Reed smiled brightly at her.

"Yes, we think it's a mix of the radiotherapy you had as well as the chemotherapy. Now, moving onto to the lung tumour. Our scans indicate that there has been no growth in the tumour since your last scan, this shows that the chemotherapy is working and preventing the spread of the cancer."

"That's great news!" Henry chirped, his huge smile was beautiful to her.

"However I just need to point out to you, we did notice on your scans that you appear to have two blood clots on your lungs, it's nothing huge to worry about – it's a side effect from the chemotherapy most likely. We are going to need to start you on blood thinners immediately to try and disperse them."

"Blood thinners?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yes, it'll be a daily injection, you'll be able to do it yourself. For the time being you'll need to inject yourself every day for the foreseeable future, we will check on your next three monthly scan whether they've shifted." He explained.

"Okay, well – I mean mostly good news right?" Elizabeth commented, she looked to Henry wait. "Wait til we tell the kids!"

Henry took a deep sigh of relief, her smile lit up the room and he was reminded instantly of just how much he loved her. It'd been so long since he'd seen her truly smile like that, he was used to seeing her put on fake smiles for the kids, but he knew below the surface she was often terrified. Nobody knew but him, but every night he'd held her close as she'd cried herself to sleep, she wouldn't show her struggles to anybody besides him.

"I'm so happy to be able to give you this good news." The doctor said. "Really, truly."

"I'm so happy to receive this good news." Elizabeth said.

"So I'm going to send your prescription for the blood thinning injections to your pharmacy. I recommend that we continue with the three weekly chemotherapy sessions like normal."

"Sounds good. Thank you so much." Elizabeth said happily, she stood and shook his hand, Henry shook his hand shortly after.

On their way out of the hospital, Elizabeth was already texting the family message group on her phone, she simply couldn't wait to tell the kids the good news.

_E: Out of the hospital, jaw tumour shrank, lung tumour hasn't grown anymore. Cleared to continue chemotherapy, review in 3 months x_

Barely a few seconds had passed and her phone had blown up with notifications.

_A: OMG MOM THAT'S AMAZING!_

_S: This is the best news I've had in a long time._

_J: Way to go, mom!_

Elizabeth looked up from her phone and started at Henry, grinning wildly a tear began to fall, but Henry knew that they were happy tears.


	14. Chapter 14

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Fourteen**

Morale had been higher than ever recently at the McCord household, they'd all been spending more time together than ever and Elizabeth was loving every moment. Jason's anger issues had seemed to subside since the good news from Elizabeth's last scans, although they had sat him down and talked to him about his behaviour.

**** Four Weeks Earlier ****

" _Why does this feel like an intervention?" Jason asked, as his parents sat him down on the sofa opposite him._

" _We're worried about you, Jace." Henry said._

" _I'm fine." Jason said, avoiding eye contact with both of them._

" _It's ok to feel what you're feeling." Elizabeth said. "It's just the way you're lashing out isn't healthy."_

" _You don't know what it's like." Jason began, deeply sighing._

" _Well then explain it to me." Elizabeth said._

" _We all put on brave faces at home, at school, we're all holding it together like good boys and girls, right?" Jason asked._

" _Okay…?" Elizabeth said, not really following._

" _Every night I lie in bed and my mind wonders to what's coming, and I cry myself to sleep. Every. Night." His face was now red, and he started to cry._

" _Oh Jason!" Elizabeth said, walking around the table and sitting next to him, she pulled him close to her._

" _I'm so scared, mom." He sobbed._

" _Oh baby boy, do you think I don't cry about this?" She asked, patting his head lightly._

" _Hm?" Jason mumbled, staring up at her._

" _Do you think I don't lie in bed every night, thinking about what's going to happen to me, and cry myself silly?"_

" _I guess that makes sense, that you would." Jason said._

" _Baby, you're being so strong, sometimes we all just need a little help. Do you want to speak to somebody about it?" She asked._

" _I've been really struggling." Jason said, and he paused, deep in thought._

" _Perhaps if you spoke to somebody about how you feel, it might make you feel better?" Henry suggested. Jason bit his lip, then sighed in defeat._

" _You're right. Fine, I'll give it a go." Jason said. "I love you mom."_

" _I love you too." Elizabeth said._

* * *

The house was finally decorated for Christmas, the tree stood proud in the hallway at the bottom of the stairs, all of the gifts wrapped and had been neatly arranged at the bottom of the tree by Ali. Elizabeth was happy, everything was prepared and all they had to do now was relax on the run-up to Christmas. Only one small hurdle remained, she was scheduled for chemotherapy on December 23rd. Once that was out of the way, she could start to get excited for Christmas.

The McCords sat in the living room, as they often did on school nights. Jason was yet again playing his video games. Elizabeth was happy to see that his anger issues had severely decreased since they'd spoken to him. She was so happy that he had accepted their help and was talking to a therapist, it'd been hurting her to see how much he was struggling but she was glad to see things had started to take a turn for the better.

Stevie was sat on an arm chair to the left of the sofa, laptop open and working feverishly on a paper for school. As usual Alison was glued to her phone. Henry had fallen asleep next to her on the sofa, Elizabeth was a little jealous, she'd love to be sleeping right now. She very carefully got up from the sofa so as to not wake him.

"I'm gonna go to bed guys." She said to the kids.

"Night." The three of them called after her.

Elizabeth began to climb the stairs after having bid her children goodnight, she paused to pick up a pair of dirty socks that were on the third step and sighed.

"Jason! Socks!" She shouted, and threw the socks to the bottom of the stairs.

"Sorry!" Jason called from the living room. Elizabeth continued to climb the stairs, when she reached the bedroom she flopped onto the bed and began her night-time ritual, a cocktail of medications and her blood thinner injection. She got all of her medications out and laid them on the bedspread, when she saw them all arranged like that she couldn't shift the feeling that she was a walking pharmacy.

She took her medication and put the bottles of tablets back in the bottom drawer of her bedside table. She grabbed the box of blood thinners and took one out, she pulled the cover from the needle and lifted up her t-shirt, her poor tortured stomach bruised black and blue protested as she inserted the needle into it and injected the dose.

"Ow." She muttered, as she pulled the needle out. She pulled her t-shirt back down and placed the used needle into the sharps box. She shivered as she tucked herself beneath the covers and fell asleep almost instantly.

* * *

She woke suddenly in a cold sweat, and swallowed, her head throbbing.

"Ughh." She moaned, placing her hands to her temples. She was shivering violently. Henry was sleeping soundly next to her, she felt terrible for waking him but she needed to. She tapped him on the shoulder.

"Henry." She said, her voice trembling.

"Hmm?" He mumbled, slowly coming around. "What is it?"

"So cold." Elizabeth muttered, she wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to warm herself up. Henry sat up and yawned, he placed the back of his hand on her forehead and recoiled.

"Jesus, you're burning up!" He exclaimed, he jumped out of bed and ran around to her side of the bed, retrieving the thermometer from her bottom drawer. He place a cap on the tip and placed it gently in her ear and pressed the button. After a short while it beeped and he took it out and looked at it.

"Yep. 103. You've got a fever. I need to ring the hospital." He said, discarding the used tip into the bin.

"No, no, no!" Elizabeth complained, she sounded out of it. "No hospitals."

"Elizabeth, I have to call the hospital, you have a fever, you have no immune system. This could be dangerous." He told her. He grabbed his phone from his bedside table and began to dial the number.

"Hello? Hi this is Henry McCord, sorry to call you at this late hour, but my wife is having chemotherapy at the moment and she just woke with a fever of 103." He explained.

"No we don't need an ambulance, I can bring her in" He continued.

"No, please." Elizabeth cried from the bed, trying to get back under the covers.

"Okay, we'll be there as soon as we can, thanks." Henry said, hanging up the phone.

"I need to pack you a bag and then I need to take you in." He told Elizabeth. "You can stay in bed until I'm done packing but then we have to go."

He grabbed an overnight bag from the top of their wardrobe and began to fill it with the essentials, pyjamas, underwear, socks. He walked into the bathroom and grabbed her toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste, some shampoo and a towel. He packed it all in the bag within ten minutes, he swung the bag over his shoulder and walked over to the bed.

"Elizabeth, we need to go." Henry said.

"So cold." Was all Elizabeth could say, she was still shivering. Sighing he scooped her out of bed, he was going to have to carry her to the car. The landing light flicked on as a very sleepy Jason stepped out of his bedroom.

"Dad, what's going on?" He said, rubbing his eye.

"Mom's got a fever." Henry said as we walked carefully to the top of the stairs carrying Elizabeth.

"Do you need any help?" He asked.

"No buddy, I'm fine. I'm just taking her in to the hospital so they can get her fever under control." He explained.

"Why are you carrying her?" Jason asked.

"She's a bit dazed and sleepy, she woke up shivering." Henry said.

"Okay I guess, well let us know how it all goes." Jason yawned.

"Will do, let your sisters know where we've gone, I'll text you guys when we're at the hospital." Henry proceeded to climb the stairs, Jason followed him down. They approached the front door and Henry stopped.

"Can you?" He asked, shifting his head towards the door.

"Sure." Jason said, and held open the door for his father.

"Thanks." He said, and he left the house, he walked up to the car and proceeded to place Elizabeth on the backseat of the car so that she could lie down. He grabbed the spare blanket he always kept in the trunk and covered her up so that she wouldn't be too cold. He jumped into the drivers seat, fastened his seatbelt, started the car and set off for the hospital.


	15. Chapter 15

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Fifteen**

It was a dark and cold December morning and the three McCord kids sat together at the kitchen table eating breakfast. The atmosphere was drab – They should have been more than used to their mom being out of the house, after all of the years Elizabeth worked away during her time as secretary of state but this time felt different. This time their mom wasn't just away on a trip, she was sick and in the hospital. They wanted nothing more than to be by her bedside but unfortunately the hospital had set visiting times.

Henry McCord stepped into the kitchen, an overnight bag filled with more pyjamas and essentials for Elizabeth hanging from his shoulder. He walked over to the counter and poured himself a quick cup of coffee.

"Morning dad." Alison said, shifting in her seat.

"Are you going to see mom?" Stevie asked, motioning to the overnight bag.

"I'm just going to drop these clothes off." Henry said. "I'll be back soon, we can all go together this afternoon during visiting hours to see her."

"Do you think she'll be home in time for Christmas?" Jason asked, sounding almost childlike.

"I don't know Jace." Henry said, taking a sip of coffee. "They need to get her fever down and keep it down before they can even consider discharging her."

"This sucks." Jason complained.

All three children had all finished for the holidays now, and there was little to do besides sit around the house worrying about their mom, it was maddening to not have any distractions. Henry finished his coffee and placed is empty cup into the sink.

"Right, I gotta run. See you guys later. Love you." He said, turning and making his way out of the house. The children watched him go.

"You don't really think mom will be in hospital over Christmas, do you?" Alison asked.

"They have to do what's best for her." Stevie said, it was upsetting but she knew that her mom was in the best place she could possibly be right now.

* * *

Elizabeth dozed on her hospital bed, at least she was comfortable. She'd been here for five days now and badly wanted to go home. She was thankful to have been allocated a private room so she was at least able to get some decent sleep. There was a light knock at the door and a nurse entered, she was pushing a rolling desk with a laptop sitting open on top of it.

"Morning, Elizabeth." The nurse said. "Morning medication run." She handed a paper cup with Elizabeth's medication inside over to Elizabeth.

"Thanks." Elizabeth said and began to throw back her tablets, washing them down with the cup of water from her bedside table.

"Someone will be by shortly do to your obs." The nurse said, and with that she turned and left the room, closing the door lightly behind her. Elizabeth finished taking her medication and lay back on the bed, she closed her eyes, willing herself to go back to sleep to pass the time. She was just on the cusp of sleep when there was another knock at the door. She sighed and opened her eyes as the door opened.

Then she saw him, Henry walked into the room and she smiled brightly, never having been so happy to see him. He walked to her bedside and planted a soft kiss on her cheek, he lay the overnight bag down on the chair beside her bed.

"How are you?" He asked.

"Bored." Elizabeth complained. "I miss you and the kids so much."

"We miss you too, babe." Henry said, taking her hand in his, being careful not to disturb the IV that was hooked into the back of her hand.

"How are the kids?" Elizabeth asked.

"They're good." Henry said. "We're all gonna come by this afternoon to keep you company."

"That'll be so nice." Elizabeth smiled. Her stomach growled loudly. "Bring food. Please bring food."

"Babe, are you not eating?" Henry asked, concerned.

"Henry, the food sucks." Elizabeth complained. "I need food, any food, something tasty."

"I'll bring you whatever you want, but jeez, Elizabeth, no wonder you're struggling to fight this infection. You need to eat." He scolded.

"Skip the lecture and just bring me food." Elizabeth said, not in the mood to argue with him. Henry sighed.

"Anything for you, Mrs. McCord." He said. They both looked over to the door as it opened – the obs nurse had finally arrived, she wheeled over a blood pressure monitor to Elizabeth's bedside.

"Good morning, I just need to do your obs." The nurse said, holding up the pressure cuff. Elizabeth complied and held out her right arm to the nurse. And she applied the cuff to her upper arm and pressed a button on the machine.

Elizabeth winced as the cuff tightened, she hated having her blood pressure taken, she always found it to be so painful. The cuff began to loosen bit by bit as the air was released and Elizabeth was relieved when the cuff was removed. The nurse jotted down the blood pressure figures on the back of her gloved hand. She then grabbed a thermometer from the basket of her trolley and placed a plastic cap over the tip, holding it to her ear she pressed the button to turn it on, it beeped and she removed it and looked at the screen.

"Your fever is spiking again." The nurse said, writing the figures down.

"Great." Elizabeth said, rolling her eyes.

"The doctor will be around to see you later this morning, he'll discuss the possibility of putting you on some strong IV antibiotics to try and help you fight this infection, as it seems the standard antibiotics haven't worked as well as we'd hoped. For now I'll set you up with a paracetamol IV to try and bring the temp back down." The nurse explained.

"Am I getting out of here before Christmas?" Elizabeth asked.

"I can't say for sure, if we can't bring your temperature under control and keep it down, then I'm afraid you'll be with us for a while longer." The nurse said.

Elizabeth sighed, feeling defeated. She'd worked so hard getting everything ready for Christmas so that there would be nothing to worry about. Everything was ready, gifts all wrapped, there was nothing left to do, and then _this_ had to happen.

"I'm sorry, babe." Henry said, squeezing her hand lightly. "We want nothing more than for you to be home with us, but we've gotta make sure you're looked after properly."

"It's just not fair." Elizabeth complained.

"I know." Henry said.

* * *

Christmas Eve had arrived and to Elizabeth's dismay it had be confirmed that she was still to unwell to be able to go home for Christmas. She was beside herself, she lay on top of her bed silently crying to herself, she couldn't imagine anything worse. She was already six months into her two year sentence that had been handed to her and she was going to have to miss Christmas with her family, by next year she may not even be well enough to appreciate it.

She spent most of the day staring at the ceiling, barely acknowledging anyone, even as the nurses came round to do her obs, and bring her breakfast and lunch; the food sat untouched on her bedside table. She felt lower than low. She was roused from her sadness when the door to her room was opened, and Alison had walked in.

"Hey mom." She said, smiling at her mother, taking a seat at her bedside.

"Hi Noodle." Elizabeth said, forcing a smile.

"How's it going?" She asked. "Dad told me they won't let you out for Christmas."

"Yeah, I'm stuck here I'm afraid." Elizabeth sighed.

"Well don't worry, we'll be here tomorrow – don't you even doubt it. Dad spoke to the nurses. There's no set visiting hours on Christmas Day, we can stay as long as we want." Alison said.

"That'll be nice…" Elizabeth said. "But I don't want to ruin your Christmas, you guys should stay home."

"Shut up." Alison said. "It's not Christmas unless we're all together. Besides, we can have Christmas: The Sequel when you're better and can come home."

"Christmas: The Sequel, it does have a nice ring to it." Elizabeth said.

They spent hours in each other's company, discussing past Christmases, their favourite Christmas gifts, their favourite holiday foods, it was nice, Elizabeth thought. Later that night they became aware of the quiet strum of a guitar outside of the room.

"What's that?" Elizabeth said, sitting up.

Alison got up from her chair and walked over to the door and opened it. The sound of the strumming guitar filled the room as well as the delicate harmonies of _Silent Night._

"There's four nuns out here singing carols." Alison said, looking back at her mom. "Do you want me to close the door?"

"No, leave it open." Elizabeth said, Alison nodded and went back to sit on the arm chair.

The carols were so beautiful, it was so simple yet brilliant, and for the first time since she'd been here, Elizabeth started to feel like it was Christmas. As the Christmas carol ended, a roar of applause could be heard from the surrounding rooms. Elizabeth and Alison joined in with the clapping.

One of the nuns appeared at the doorway to her hospital room and lightly knocked on the open door.

"Merry Christmas." The nun said, smiling brightly at Elizabeth and Alison.

"Merry Christmas." They both replied in unison.

"I'm so very sorry you're having to spend the holiday here." The nun said, walking into the room, she handed a small star shaped card to Elizabeth. She took it in her hand.

"Thanks." Elizabeth said. "Stage four metastatic lung cancer." She told the nun, to save her having to ask.

"Bless you my dear, I'm so sorry for your pain. God has a plan for us all. You will be in my prayers." She said.

"Thank you, sister." Elizabeth said, turning the card around in her hands.

The nun quietly left the room and Elizabeth looked down at the star shaped card that the nun had given to her, she turned it over and noticed there was something written on it.

_A Child to us is born_

_In deepest night,_

_And like a blazing sun,_

_Brings sad hearts light._

She read over the poem a few times, taking in all of the words, smiling. It was true. Her three children burned brightly and brought happiness and light to her heart. She made the conscious decision that she wasn't going to feel sorry for herself anymore. She owed it to her children and Henry to keep going, to keep fighting the good fight. She promised herself there and then that she was going to give it everything she had, her family was all the strength she needed.


	16. Chapter 16

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Sixteen**

**a/n – Because every now and then you need a little Hope.**

Elizabeth was finally discharged from hospital on January 1st after having spending two agonisingly long weeks in hospital, missing both Christmas Day and New Years Eve with her family. When they finally let her go, Henry had never seen her move so fast. She was packed and ready to go within ten minutes, he admired her enthusiasm. He'd helped her down to the car and brought her home.

It felt so good to be back in her own bed, she'd missed sleeping with Henry beside her, it was the only thing that made her feel safe anymore and she was so thankful to be back home with him. The kids had been over the moon from the moment their mother had walked through the front door, it had been difficult for them to spend the holidays without their mom, even if they were able to go and visit her, it wasn't the same.

On the 15th day of January, Elizabeth and Henry met once more with her oncologist to discuss the way forward for her treatments. It was a cold, wet and windy day; rain pounded harshly against the window of the doctors office.

"So, not a great few weeks." Dr. Reed began.

"You could say that." Elizabeth said.

"I believe that the chemo we had you on was probably too strong for your body to handle, the side effects were too great. It's also probably the reason that the blood clots formed back in November." He said.

"So how do we move forward?" Elizabeth asked.

"Well, we can move you onto a less aggressive chemo, basically a maintenance chemo. You'll still have it every three weeks, but you'll be happy to know it's a much smaller dose, so your treatment days will go from eight hours to probably two for every treatment." He explained.

"Well, all things aside, that does sound pretty good." Elizabeth said, smiling. It would be amazing to not have to spend the entire day having chemotherapy once every three weeks.

"The side effects will largely be the same." Dr. Reed stated. "And as it's a different kind of chemotherapy, there's a chance that you may experience different side effects to the ones you had from your last treatment."

"Alright." Elizabeth nodded, taking all of the new information in.

"I also have something to discuss with you." He said. "As you know, cancer treatments are evolving and new treatments crop up quite often. I know you were upset when it turned out you were unsuitable for immunotherapy – however a new kind of treatment has recently come to light – it's really mostly a pioneering treatment, it's a kind of immunotherapy that doesn't require the patients to have the correct proteins present." He explained. Elizabeth stared at him.

"Ergo, you are a very good candidate for this new immunotherapy treatment. Would you like me to put you forward for it?" He asked, Elizabeth eyes widened. Her heart had broken when she'd received the news that originally she wasn't suitable for the immunotherapy – she'd done a lot a research into it and it seemed like it was a much more reliable course of treatment than chemotherapy, with way less side effects.

"Of course!" Elizabeth exclaimed.

"That's great." He said, making a note on his notepad. "So we can schedule it so that you can have both the maintenance chemotherapy and immunotherapy on the same day, so you're not having to come into the hospital all the time."

"Sounds great." Elizabeth said, smiling happily.

"I just need to remind you that it's a medical trial, we obviously hope for good results but you also need to prepare for the idea that it may not work." He cautioned.

"I understand." Elizabeth said.

"Good." Dr. Reed said. "Well I'm glad to see you're back on your feet after that nasty infection. Now you're back to running on full, how about we schedule in your next treatment for next week?" He asked.

"Yes, please. I'm determined to start fighting this again." Elizabeth said fiercely.

"Brilliant, I like this strong, positive attitude. Well I will get you booked in and I'll see you at your quarterly scan."

"Excellent, thanks doctor." Elizabeth said.

Henry held her hand as they left the centre, he couldn't help but break a smile as he watched his wife, there was almost a spring in her step, she was so happy at the possibility of being put forward for this new treatment.

* * *

A few weeks later when life had returned to semi-normal the McCords sat together one Saturday morning in the living room of their Georgetown home, the time for Christmas: The Sequel had arrived. Elizabeth was grateful for the effort Henry and the kids had put into the whole thing, the Christmas tree was back out and fully decorated and Henry was already roasting a Turkey in the kitchen for their Christmas lunch.

A few beautifully wrapped gifts lay underneath the tree, the children sat on the floor of the living room, laughing amongst themselves as Elizabeth watched them, she couldn't wait to give them her gift. Henry walked into the living room and flopped onto the sofa.

"Well, a few more hours and that Turkey is going to be golden." He mused, impressed with himself.

"I'm sure it'll be delicious." Elizabeth said smiling at him.

"Ok guys! Presents!" Stevie called, picking up a large wrapped gift from under the tree and passing it to Elizabeth, she took it and smiled.

"This one's from all three of us." Jason said. Elizabeth pulled at the paper and started to rip it open. She uncovered a large white photo frame filled with twelve different pictures. She gasped with emotion as her eyes shifted between each one, so many memories. Henry and Elizabeth when they were young, baby Stevie, baby Ali, baby Jason, photos from family holidays, a photo of Elizabeth and their old dog Lady, the photo at the centre however was a photo that Stevie had taken of the five of them when they'd last visited the cabin.

"You guys, It's beautiful. I love it." She said, she looked at Henry. "Can you go get the uh, thing?" She asked him.

"Huh?" He asked. "Oh, the thing!" He exclaimed and shot up and ran out of the room.

"Your dad and I decided to get you something very special." Elizabeth said, turning around to see Henry bringing in the gift.

A beautiful black and white Welsh border collie was being led in by Henry on a leash, its tail high in the air, wagging like crazy.

"Oh my God!" Alison shouted. "You got us a dog?!" All three children dived forward and started to pet the beautiful dog.

"Her name is Hope." Elizabeth said.

"I thought you said you'd never get another dog after Lady?" Jason said, petting Hope's head.

"Well, I changed my mind." Elizabeth said. "Besides, it'll be nice to have a cute fluffy friend around the house."

"Is she a rescue?" Stevie asked.

"Yeah, we adopted her the other day." Henry answered.

"She's so perfect." Stevie smiled. "I love her name."

"I thought it was fitting." Elizabeth said, smiling.

Alison gasped and jumped up.

"You guys, we should totally take Hope to the farm!" She exclaimed.

"That's actually a brilliant idea, Noodle." Henry said. Jason started to laugh and nod in agreement, Hope had rolled over exposing her belly, expecting belly scratches.

"I wonder if she'd try and herd the horses?" Jason joked. Henry and Elizabeth sat side by side on the sofa taking in the wonderful sight of their children playing with their new dog, it had been so many years since the McCord's had a pet dog and it seemed like Hope was already slotting right into place as an honorary McCord.

* * *

Later that night Elizabeth slowly began to get ready for bed, while Henry was having a late night shower. She knocked back her cocktail of medicines as usual, and mentally prepared herself for her blood thinning injection, she couldn't wait to be off these, they were wreaking havoc on her body, as she pulled up her t-shirt yet again she sighed as her stomach now stained even worse black and blue looked as though someone had repeatedly punched her.

She winced as she pressed the needle into her skin, at that moment Henry emerged in the bathroom, staring at her as she stuck the needle in her side.

"God, that looks so painful, babe." He said, pulling on a pair of pyjamas.

"You get used to it." She said, discarding the spent needle into the sharps bin.

"I hate how badly I bruise these days." She complained, Henry sat beside her on the bed and kissed her lightly.

"I know, but you're still beautiful to me." He said, smiling.

They both got comfy beneath the covers, holding hands and staring at each other.

"Do you think the kids liked their gift?" Elizabeth asked.

"Are you serious? They're obsessed!" Henry exclaimed. "I almost feel bad for the poor dog, they won't leave her alone. They did take her a for a nice long walk though."

Elizabeth smiled.

"It's good for them to have something to love." Elizabeth sighed. "Something that loves them unconditionally, to cheer them up when I'm gone."

Henry's smile fell.

"Don't say that babe." He said.

"Well, it's going to happen, might as well get used to the idea." Elizabeth stated.

"I know it's going to happen, but I choose to live for today and not for tomorrow." He whispered, stroking her arm.

"That's an interesting way to look at it." Elizabeth said, he smiled at her cheekily and rolled over so that he was on top of her.

"Fancy living for today?" He asked, Elizabeth laughed.

"Let's do this." She chuckled.


	17. Chapter 17

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Seventeen**

"So Stevie, why don't you tell me about this past week?" The therapist said calmly.

Stevie McCord sat opposite his therapist on a very comfortable arm chair, the room was bright and colourful, incense was burning on the side table, on the coffee table in front of hair and open box of tissues lay ready for the taking. Nobody knew she was in therapy, she hadn't wanted anybody to know. It's not that she thought it made her weak, she knew she was entitled to feel however she felt, she didn't want her parents having to worry about her when they already had so much on their plate.

"Uh, it was okay." Stevie replied.

"Care to elaborate on that?" The therapist asked, Steve smiled slightly, her therapist always knew how far to gently push her.

"School's going okay I guess." Stevie started to talk. "My grades are still up which is a relief, after what happened over Christmas I was really surprised I even passed my exams, I felt for sure that I would've failed."

"That's very positive. How do you feel now looking back at what happened over Christmas? I assume you're talking about your mother's hospital stay?" She asked.

"I guess I feel kinda proud." She said. "You know, the way we all pulled together as a family? I guess McCord's can deal pretty well under pressure."

"Have you had any issues dealing with any complicated situations you may have come across this week?" The therapist asked.

"No, not really." Stevie said, thinking. "It's just, well night time is the hardest."

"Why is that?"

"I guess – well I guess I can keep myself distracted during the day, I have a lot on with school, keeping the house in shape for my parents, at night time it's just me, when I'm alone my mind starts to wonder. I think about what's coming, and it terrifies me. I imagine a world without my mom and I just feel so… broken." Stevie explained, she sniffed a little, willing herself not to cry.

"It's all I can think about, the idea of her not being here anymore, the irreversible damage it's going to me, my dad and my siblings. I don't know how we're meant to go on without her."

She couldn't hold it back any longer, the tears came though slow and silent, she reached forward and plucked a tissue from the box, dabbing lightly at her eyes, she was so sick of crying.

"It sounds to me – and hear me out. It seems as though you're mourning your mother before she's even passed. It's true we all must face the hand we've been dealt, but the truth is, Stevie – your mom is still here."

Stevie looked her therapist in the eyes.

"Well, I didn't think about it that way." Stevie admitted.

"I can tell." Her therapist commented. "And that's a part of what we're going to work together to try and change, the way you look at situations, how to bring them into perspective and deal with them properly. What I'd like you to think about before we next meet is how your mom is still here, and how you should make the most of that. Don't spend your precious time together mourning for her while she's right in front of you."

"That kind of really puts it into perspective for me." Stevie said, her therapist smiled.

"How are things, treatment wise with your mom?"

"I think they're going well, she was put forward for some experimental trial or something. Immunotherapy? Yeah, that's it. She's had three or four rounds of that now." Stevie explained. "We'll find out how effective it is at her next scans."

"This all sounds very positive." Her therapist remarked.

"You should have seen mom when she came home that day when they told her she could be part of this medical trial." Stevie smiled, remembering it fondly. "She was so happy, It's been so long since I've seen her that happy."

"It must have been nice."

"It was. It was like, normal life." Stevie said.

* * *

Henry McCord stared at his beautiful wife as she lay sleeping next to him in the bed. In place of her beautiful golden locks now lay a stylish bandana that Ali had made for her a few weeks ago. Unfortunately Elizabeth had started to lose her hair a few days after her second round of maintenance chemotherapy. It had taken all Henry had in him not to cry as he'd helped his wife shave her hair off.

She'd been showering one Sunday morning, Henry had still been in bed – until he'd heard an audible cry coming from the bathroom; he'd jumped out of bed, shoved open the door to find his wife cowering on the floor of the shower, clumps of her golden hair sitting in her hands. His heart was breaking for her. He'd helped her to get dry and get dressed. She handed the hair trimmer to him and he stared at her.

"I need you to do it." She said, emotionless.

"Are you sure?" Henry had asked, Elizabeth started to cry.

"Please, just do it, get it over with."

She'd bent over the bathroom sink as Henry began to clip away at her remaining hair, she sobbed as she saw all of her locks fall into the sink. Henry had taken a deep breath and kept going, it had almost broken him.

Elizabeth had been ashamed looking in the mirror and seeing her bald head for the first time. At first she'd spent a lot of time up in the bedroom, hiding from everybody, she couldn't cope with this huge change, she didn't want her family to see her like this. It was a few days later when Alison had knocked on her mother's bedroom door that everything had changed.

" _Mom?" Alison had asked, opening the door ever so slightly._

" _Noodle!" Elizabeth started, sitting up from her position on the bed, her eyes were red and puffy, it was clear she'd been crying._

" _Oh mom." Alison said. "I know you don't feel brave enough to come downstairs, but we miss you. We love you no matter what." She cried. "Here." She said, pulling a fitted piece of fabric from her pocket and handing it to her mother._

" _What's this?" Elizabeth asked, taking it from her._

" _I made it for you." Alison said. "It's a bandana, see?" She placed it over Elizabeth's head and tied it at the back. "I designed it."_

_Elizabeth stood up from the bed and walked over to the mirror on her dressing table and sat in front of it. She observed the bandana, it was beautifully blue and floral, it fitted perfectly, it made her feel a little more comfortable seeing herself without hair._

" _Oh Noodle," Elizabeth whispered. "It's gorgeous." She stood up and pulled her daughter into a hug. "Thank you."_

" _You're welcome, mom." Alison smiled. "Now will you please come downstairs?" She asked, hopefully._

" _I'll be down in a minute." Elizabeth said, clearing her throat. "I just need to wash my face."_

" _Alright, we'll be waiting for you." Alison said as she headed for the door, before she left she turned around. "Oh and mom?"_

" _Yeah?" Elizabeth replied._

" _You're beautiful, with or without hair." Alison said._

* * *

Elizabeth gently awoke from the depths of sleep, Henry smiled as her eyes had fluttered open.

"Good morning, sleepyhead." He said to her.

"What time is it?" Elizabeth asked sleepily, slowly sitting up.

"Don't worry, its' only nine and your appointment isn't until eleven." Henry said. "We have a visitor." Henry nodded towards the foot of the bed, where Hope was soundly asleep.

"Aw!" Elizabeth said. "She's so gorgeous!" As though sensing the movement on the bed, Hope awoke and jumped up, running up to the head of the bed, waiting to be petted.

"Good morning beautiful girl." Elizabeth said, smiling and laughing as Hope licked her face.

"You two make a beautiful couple." Henry teased.

They dressed, ate a quick breakfast and headed out of the house as quickly as possible, determined to take Hope for a walk before Elizabeth's appointment. They strolled slowly around a nearby park, Elizabeth was throwing a stick for Hope and she was running after it every time, to catch it and bring it back.

"So how are you doing?" Henry asked.

"I'm pretty terrified." Elizabeth admitted. "I mean, this is it, take it or leave it – either the immunotherapy worked or it didn't."

"We'll get through it, whatever the news."

Elizabeth bent down to pick up the stick which Hope had just brought back and threw it again.

"Do you ever think about the future?" Elizabeth asked.

"All the time." Henry said, looking down at his shoes.

"Me too." Elizabeth sighed. "I still think you should wait a year before you remarry."

Henry stopped in his tracks, and turned to face her.

"Elizabeth, there's only you, I love you now, always and forever. I'll love you even when you're gone." He pulled her towards him and enveloped her into a passionate kiss.


	18. Chapter 18

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Eighteen**

The words hit her at lightning speed, she closed her eyes as she felt her soul slowly crumbling. It had finally happened, she was broken.

"I'm afraid the immunotherapy is having no effect." Dr. Reed had said. "Your tumours have started growing again."

Her mind was screaming, this wasn't fair, she was only 9 months past her diagnosis, how could the treatment have given up on her so easily?

"So what happens now?" Henry asked from beside her. She was glad he was here with her, she'd almost forgotten how to speak, let alone being able to find the words.

"Well, I'm afraid we're at an impasse." The doctor began. "We can't go back to the old chemotherapy as it made Elizabeth far too ill, going back to that would most definitely kill her." The doctor paused and pushed his glasses up, taking a deep sigh.

"Maintenance chemo doesn't appear to be strong enough to make a difference, and obviously the immunotherapy hasn't take effect. I'm afraid there's nothing more we can do."

Elizabeth's mind came back to the room.

"You're giving up on me?" She asked, her voice thick and full of emotion.

"If we were to put you back on the chemotherapy you were having before Christmas, you would be unnecessarily suffering, your body is at the point where it can't take much more. The remainder of your time would be spent in pain, do you really want that?" He asked.

"So I have to choose between pain and suffering, then death or just…death?" Elizabeth asked.

"I understand it's an impossible situation." He said. "You've fought so hard, your sheer will and strength has amazed everybody here at the centre."

Elizabeth couldn't speak she was fighting so hard to keep herself from falling apart in front of the doctor and Henry. He could tell she was fighting a huge internal battle, he slowly put his arm around her shoulders.

"If that's all, doctor. I think I'm gonna get her home." He said. Dr. Reed nodded. Henry helped Elizabeth stand up.

"Elizabeth, it's been an honour to be your doctor." He said sadly. Elizabeth didn't reply, although her body was present, her mind was far away. Question after question flooded through her mind. How long did she have left? Would it hurt? Was there a heaven? How the hell was she supposed to tell her kids?

She'd always had a deep fear which she'd kept well buried since her kids were born. After having lost her parents at such a young age, Elizabeth couldn't shake the huge fear that she would be leaving her children way before her time, at first the thought of it had kept her up at night. Eventually she'd managed to bury the fear deep down inside of her, but a faint thread of it was always there on her mind, even more so since she'd got her diagnosis.

Henry had guided her out of the hospital and they stood outside the giant double doors together.

"Where do you want to go?" Henry asked.

"I don't want to go home." Elizabeth said.

"That's okay, we don't have to go home yet." Henry assured her, he pointed over to an iron bench in the open courtyard of the hospital. "You wanna sit?" He asked. Elizabeth nodded and he walked her over to the bench.

"I don't wanna tell the kids." Elizabeth stated, Henry looked a little shocked.

"I'm not sure I agree with that, are you sure? What are we going to do? Lie to them?" He asked.

"Not lie, just.. omit. Henry I can't face breaking their hearts this way." She pleaded.

"They deserve to know, Elizabeth." Henry said, Elizabeth started to cry.

"I just can't deal with this." She cried. "Please don't make me tell them, at least not just yet."

Henry sighed, his heart was breaking for her. He could understand her desire to protect her children from the worst news they could possibly receive, but he was worried how the kids would take it when they realised Elizabeth was on her way out, would they feel betrayed? The truth was, Elizabeth was more than a year shy of her prognosis, with treatment being stopped ,Henry guessed that at most, she'd have twelve weeks left.

"Alright." Henry finally said. "We won't tell them just yet. We do need to figure out what we're going to tell them today though, because they're going to ask."

"We'll tell them that the immunotherapy wasn't having an effect so they're stopping it."

"I guess…" Henry sighed.

Elizabeth turned to face her husband, she took his hand in hers.

"Henry, I need you to promise me something." Elizabeth asked, Henry looked at her, one eyebrow raised.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Promise me that you won't let me die in a hospital." Elizabeth breathed. "I want to spend every living moment I have left with you an the kids. I want to be at home when – when it happens." She choked out.

"I'll see what I can do, I think that should be possible." He managed to say, the conversation was becoming a little much for him. He held her close as she cried and closed his eyes. How was he meant to get through this? If there was a God, why was he punishing them in this way? They were good people, they didn't deserve this.

"I've been thinking about - about where I want to be buried." Elizabeth whispered. "I always just assumed that I'd end up buried in the same cemetery as my parents. But the more I've thought about it lately, the more I've realised, I want to be buried in Arlington, I want to be close to you guys. We could get a double plot." She continued.

"You can have anything you want, anything." Henry said, struggling a little as it was so hard to be talking about this kind of thing with the woman he believe he was going to be spending the rest of his life with.

"We could get a nice plot, maybe near some trees, and – well one day in the future, when you're ready, you can join me." She suggested. Henry started to cry as he nodded and held her even closer.

"I'd like that." Henry choked.

"I'm scared, Henry." She admitted, he slowly stroked her arm.

"I'm scared too." Henry said, it was the first time he'd truly admitted his fear to her, and he hoped it wouldn't upset her too much.

* * *

Elizabeth sat on the windowsill of her bedroom, feet up on the side – the window was open and the breeze was quietly nipping at her. She stared out of the window at the setting sun, the sky was a peachy colour and she thought it was beautiful. Sitting on her lap she held her writing pad and pen. The time had come to write the letters to her family which Blake had kindly said he would deliver for her.

Taking the pen in hand, she slowly removed the lid and stared at the blank ruled pages of her writing pad. She wasn't even sure where to begin, how do you even begin to say goodbye? Henry and her children were her only anchors keeping her weighted – and now she had to figure out a way to put into words just how much she loved them and give them the strength to go on in their lives without her.

She shook the thoughts from her mind as she felt herself choking up again. She needed to get this done before her mind started to deteriorate and she would become unable to write them. Henry and the children deserved to have this one final piece of her to hold on to after she was gone.

Slowly she brought the pen to paper, slowly she began to write.

_My dearest Henry..._


	19. Chapter 19

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Nineteen**

Several weeks passed, and it was becoming evident that Elizabeth was becoming weaker and weaker. She was struggling to eat these days, and barely had the energy to move from the living room sofa once she'd sat down for the day. It was breaking Henry to see her like this, but he was determined to honour her decisions, and when the time came, he called the cancer hospital and asked what he could do to make his wife more comfortable at home. He explained that she was no longer able to climb the stairs to go up to bed or to take a shower.

The centre had been incredibly helpful in that regard, that very afternoon they'd sent over a hospital bed to the house, which Henry had set up in the living room. They'd also arranged carers to visit twice per day, once in the morning and once in the evening to help Elizabeth get washed and change her clothes, they'd also arranged for a respite nurse to come to the house once a week who would sit with Elizabeth during the afternoon so that Henry was able to take a breather and clear his head and catch up on some sleep.

The kids had noticed the change in their mother over the past few weeks, and although Henry had respected Elizabeth's wishes in not telling them about the stop in her treatment, he was pretty sure the kids had come to their own conclusions about what was going on. The atmosphere was horrible at the house, Jason seemed to be taking it the worst out of the three kids, his anger issues had returned and he spent most of his time up in his bedroom, engrossed in video games. Henry figured it must be his only way to cope with the sheer tragedy that had been presenting itself every day.

Although in a bad way, Elizabeth was still very much coherent, she could still hold conversations with her family, but frequently she would fall asleep, she'd been doing that a lot lately, falling asleep mid conversation. Henry had hoped, if she was going to go soon, that she'd go in her sleep, so that she wouldn't suffer.

Later that evening Jason appeared in the kitchen to grab a snack from the fridge, most of the time he felt numb, but he still felt hungry. He walked past the living room and looked in on his mother, who as usual was snuggled beneath the covers of her hospital bed. It was difficult to look at, to see his mother suffering in this way. What was once a bright burning flame had now been reduced to a flicker.

"Jason?" Elizabeth called weakly from the living room, Jason walked into the room and stood in front of his mother.

"Yeah, mom. Everything okay? Can I get you anything?" He asked.

"Will you stay with me a while?" Elizabeth asked.

"Sure, mom." Jason said, sitting down in an armchair opposite the hospital bed, she smiled lightly, it was the first time she'd seen her son properly for the past few days.

"Is everything okay?" She asked.

"I'm fine." Jason said quietly.

"You seem like you're hurting." She commented.

Jason sighed deeply, his mother always knew him too well.

"I'm not going to lie to you mom, I'm struggling. I don't know what it is, and I know you're worried about me, but don't be. I'll be okay." He explained.

"As long as you're not hurting. I don't want you to be hurting." Elizabeth breathed.

"I'm not hurting mom." Jason lied. Elizabeth smiled.

"Good boy." She mumbled, still smiling she slowly started to drift off to sleep. Jason waited a few minutes as she fell into a deeper sleep, then he got up and left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

"Goodnight mom." He whispered, as he looked back into the room, watching her sleep.

* * *

Henry walked into the living room, freshly showered and in his pyjamas. He settled himself into the arm chair opposite Elizabeth's bed, he smiled as he saw Hope laying beside her bed on the floor, she hadn't left Elizabeth's side since she'd relocated to the living room. He picked up his book from the coffee table and opened it and began to read.

He'd been staying up most nights to sit with Elizabeth, making sure she wasn't alone. He'd help her to get to the bathroom and bring her water to drink and food to eat, although she rarely ever ate what he gave her. At around seven every morning Ali and Stevie would take over for him so that he could get some sleep. It was a shaky system, but it worked.

The carers would come every morning and evening as scheduled, when they were done they would make sure Elizabeth was very comfortable before they left. Henry was grateful for the help, happy that he wasn't alone during all of this.

The hours passed slowly as Elizabeth slept, and he read. Eventually he looked up and saw the sun beginning to rise in the morning sky, birds were singing cheerily outside. He stared at Elizabeth who was still sleeping and smiled, loving her with every fibre of his being.

"Morning Dad." Stevie said, walking into the living room. "How was she last night?" She asked.

"Pretty good, slept most of the night." Henry said.

Steve sat on the other arm chair opposite the hospital bed and crossed her legs.

"You can go to bed now if you want." Stevie told him.

"I will, in a minute." Henry said, folding down the corner of the page he was reading to save his place for later.

"Stevie?" Elizabeth mumbled quietly from the bed, stirring awake. Stevie stood and went to her mother's bedside immediately.

"Yeah mom, I'm here." Stevie said, taking her mom's hand in her own.

"You guys.." Elizabeth whispered. "You guys are the greatest thing that ever happened to me. But I think.." She continued quietly. "I think it's time to make tracks."

Stevie's eyes filled with fresh tears, she turned to her dad who had reacted similarly. Elizabeth had closed her eyes and fell back to sleep.

Later that afternoon, the local doctor had paid a visit to check over everything, adjusting Elizabeth's medication as necessary to make her as comfortable as possible. Elizabeth hadn't woken since her admission to Stevie that morning. After a few injections the doctor had began to pack away his supplies and walked over to Henry and Stevie.

Henry had been so upset after Elizabeth's admission that morning that he'd found himself unable to leave her side.

"All done." The doctor said. "If you don't mind, could we have a quiet word in the other room?" He asked.

"Sure." Henry said.

Henry, Stevie and the doctor walked into the kitchen and took a seat at the kitchen table.

"This is something I think the whole family should be here for." The doctor said.

"Stevie, can you go get your brother and sister?" Henry asked. Stevie nodded and left the table, she returned a few moments later with Alison and Jason in tow. All five of them sat around the table.

"I've given Elizabeth something to help the anxiety." The doctor began. "It should make the whole thing a bit less scary for her."

Henry nodded.

"Thank you." He said.

"I can't say for sure, but I'd just like to forewarn you that we're getting close to the end now." He explained. "It could happen anytime between the next few hours or the next few days."

Henry closed his eyes, Alison and Jason burst into tears and Stevie stood up and began to pace the room.

"I'd recommend you spend the day together, remember to keep talking to her – they say hearing is the last sense to go and I imagine she'd find it very comforting to hear your voices."

Once the doctor had left, all four of them walked back into the living room to settle down for the day. They took turns sitting at Elizabeth's bedside talking to her about all kinds of things, making sure that she knew they were there. Henry was determined that, in her final hours Elizabeth wouldn't feel alone.


	20. Chapter 20

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Twenty**

**a/n – I have only one thing to say to you all, I'm sorry.**

** Two Weeks Earlier **

Blake Moran opened his front door, surprised to see the mailman standing outside holding a big white envelope.

"Need a signature." The mailman said, handing the PDA to Blake so he could scribble a quick signature on the touch screen. The mailman handed him the packet and he took it in his hands.

"Thanks." Blake said, closing his front door.

He walked over to his dining table and placed the packet down next to his coffee cup, he took a sip and took the packet in his hands once more. It had been addressed to him in a beautiful blue handwriting. His heart fell instantly when he realised what it was, it was from her, he knew it.

He turned the packet over and started to tear it open from the back, he shook the open packet and five separate smaller envelopes fell onto the tabletop. He placed the packet down and started to place them into a pile, there was one for each of the McCords, as well as one addressed to Will, whom Blake knew was Elizabeth's brother.

He knew just from receiving these letters that Elizabeth's time must be drawing to a close, his heart ached for her, knowing that her flame would soon go out. Blake took a deep breath and tried to regain his composure. He took another look inside the packet and noticed one more envelope left, addressed to him.

He was momentarily unsure whether he should open it yet, Elizabeth had probably intended for him to open it after she'd passed, but the curiosity nicked at him. Feeling as though he couldn't wait, he tore it open and pulled out the letter within.

A single sheet of paper was folded into thirds, he opened it up and noticed a yellow sticky note attached to it. He took it in his hands and read:

_Thanks for everything, Blake._

He pulled the note off of the letter and looked at what Elizabeth had written. He choked back a few tears as he realised what Elizabeth had done. She'd written him the most glowing recommendation letter he'd ever received in his life, it sung all of his praises. He folded up the letter again and returned it to the envelope, his emotions were starting to get the better of him.

He gathered up the six envelopes and walked into his bedroom, he opened his wardrobe and pushed his clothes aside to gain access to the safe he had hidden away in there. He input the combination and placed all six letters safely inside. He sighed as he closed the safe door.

"Thank you, ma'am." He said to no one in particular.

* * *

** Present Day **

Henry, the children and hope all sat in the living room of the Georgetown house, Stevie sat at her mother's bedside holding her hand. Elizabeth still hadn't regained consciousness and now her breathing was deep and wet, she sounded like she needed to cough, but she never did, it was disheartening to listen to, and it made Jason feel very uncomfortable.

"Why is she breathing like that?" Jason had asked earlier that afternoon.

"I know it's scary, buddy." Henry said. "But it's only scary for us, it's not bothering mom." He explained.

"Oh.. alright." Jason said.

They'd ordered an assortment of pizzas for dinner as nobody was in the mood to cook, none of them wanted to be very far away from Elizabeth. The pizza boxes laid open on the coffee table, barely touched, it seemed that nobody had much of an appetite at the moment.

Stevie gave her mother's hand a soft squeeze as she silently cried.

"I don't know what I'm going to do without you mom." She admitted out loud, it was the first time she'd ever said this thought out loud, and it hurt just as much speaking it as it had done in her head. "You're never going to be able to be there for my wedding day, or my graduation, or even meet your grandkids." She cried.

She wasn't surprised when she got no sign of a response from her mother, but deep down her heart wished that her mom would give her even just a tiny sign that she understood what she was saying to her. Stevie leaned over her mother and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, being careful to not let her tears fall.

"I love you mom." She whispered. She stood back up and went to sit on the sofa away from her mothers' bedside. Her place was soon taken by Alison, who took a hold of her mom's hand.

They sat together in silence for what felt like hours, until suddenly Jason cried out.

"I've been so selfish." He cried.

"What?" Henry asked. Jason began to heavily sob.

"These past two weeks, all I've done is hide out in my room, I've been so depressed, I just couldn't face being around." He cried, Henry hugged his son.

"I should have been around more, I just, I didn't know this would be her final two weeks." He admitted, feeling the anguish of guilt washing all over him.

"Hey." Henry said, placing a hand either side of Jason's head. "Your mom knows you love her. We all deal with this in different ways, you did what you had to do to survive." Henry explained.

"Dad?" Alison piped up from across the room. "Dad, her breathing, it's..different." She said.

Henry let go of Jason and walked over to the bed, sure enough Elizabeth's breathing had become much more calm, she seemed almost peaceful now.

"Guys, I think this is it." He said. The children gathered around the bed, joining Henry as they watched over their mother. Jason knelt down on the floor at her bedside and laid his head on her mother's chest, he sobbed as he cried out for her. Alison and Stevie were holding hands, bracing themselves for what was about to come. Henry stood beside them all, his hands clamped to his mouth, his mind screaming in pain.

Elizabeth's breathing became shallower and shallower, eventually after what seemed like seconds, but also seemed like hours, her breathing stopped altogether. Simultaneously four different hearts shattered. Henry fell to his knees as his emotions devoured him. Stevie and Alison crouched down beside him and hugged him tighter than he'd ever been hugged in his life.

Jason didn't move from his position, kneeling beside the bed, he openly sobbed, his tears soaking his mother's bed clothes.

* * *

What seemed like an eternity later, Henry and the kids were waiting in the kitchen while two nurses, whom Henry had called shortly after Elizabeth had passed – were performing some end of life checks, and making the body more comfortable and presentable. It had been almost half an hour and nobody had spoken as they sat together at the kitchen table.

"We need to call uncle Will." Stevie said quietly, Henry sighed shocked that he had forgotten to call his wife's only remaining family to let him know the news.

"Jesus, I completely forgot. God, Stevie, would you?" Henry spluttered.

"Don't worry, I've got it." Stevie reassured her dad. She pulled her cellphone from her pocket and dialled Will's number, the audio was just loud enough for them all to hear.

"Hello?" A sleepy voice said, from the other end.

"Uncle Will, it's Stevie." Stevie said, she tried very hard to control her voice but the quivering really started to give her away.

"Oh God, she hasn't" Will exclaimed.

Henry closed his eyes, this wasn't news that somebody should be receiving via phone call, but there wasn't much else they could do given the current situation.

"Oh God, no!" Will cried. "How? When?"

"About an hour ago." Stevie told him.

"Oh my God, Stevie. Oh God, Lizzie." He cried, unable to form a proper sentence.

"The nurses are here now, uh, doing checks and stuff. Then we'll be calling the funeral directors." Stevie said.

"I'm getting the first flight out of here." Will said firmly.

"Okay." Stevie said. "We'll see you when you get here."

Stevie hung up the phone and sat back down at the kitchen table, the rest of her family were staring at her.

"Well that was horrific." She said, placing her phone on the table.

The nurses walked into the kitchen and Henry got up from the table to see them.

"Okay, we've done everything we need to. You can go back in and be with her if you want to, you'll need to get in contact with the funeral directors sooner rather than later to organise picking her up. I'm so sorry for your loss."

Henry showed the nurses out and he headed back into the living room, the children following just behind him. He checked his watch – it was now one in the morning, he slightly gasped, wondering where the hell the past hour had gone. He pulled out his cellphone and called the number for the funeral directors that he and Elizabeth had picked out a few weeks prior. They discussed their options and had settled on an 8am appointment for the undertakers to come and take Elizabeth to the chapel of rest.

"You guys should go to bed." He said, turning to look at his children. "I'm going to stay down here with mom tonight."

"I can't leave her." Jason said, starting to cry again.

"Jason, will you help me to open all of the windows down here?" Henry asked, trying to take his sons mind off of everything happening.

"Why?" Jason asked.

"We have to create a good airflow." Henry asked. "We have to keep the – we have to keep your mom cool until the undertakers come in the morning."

Jason nodded and turned to leave the room to go and open the windows in the hall and the kitchen. Henry looked to his daughters.

"Can you girls go up and get the fan from our bedroom, I can set it up here pointed at her." He said.

The girls left the room and Henry found himself alone with his wife for the first time since she'd passed, he sighed as he realised he was starting to feel numb, never before in his life had he ever felt this much sorrow, he didn't realise it was possible to feel like this.

Stevie returned a few moments later holding the fan, she placed it beside her mother's bed and plugged it in at the wall.

"Thanks Stevie." Henry said. Stevie patted her dads shoulder.

"Ali's gone to bed." Stevie told him. "I'm going to go up now too, are you going to be okay?" She asked.

"I'll be fine." Henry said. "I think Jason is going to stay down here with me."

"Okay dad, I love you."

"I love you too." He said, as she left the room. Henry sighed and went to lie down on the sofa, he didn't know when he'd be ready to sleep in their bed again.

Jason walked back into the room and took the seat at his mother's bedside, he took a hold of her hand.

"I opened all the windows." He told his dad, when Henry didn't reply Jason looked over at the sofa to find his dad had already fallen asleep, the poor guy must have been exhausted.

Jason turned back around and stared at his mother's body, she looked peaceful, almost as though she could be sleeping. Apart from the bandana which she still wore upon her hair, you couldn't even tell that she'd battled cancer. Jason reached forward and brushed the side of his mother's face with his free hand. He felt the tumour in her jaw beneath the skin of her cheek, he audibly gasped as he felt how firm the skin was, stretched from the tumour lying beneath it.

"Jesus Christ, mom." He said quietly.

Time passed slowly as Jason sat beside his mother, she was very cold now thanks to the fan and all of the windows being fully open, it wasn't nice to feel her with no warmth at all, it felt unnatural. Several times Jason's eyes had played tricks on him and he thought he'd saw her breathing out of the corner of his eye, but he knew it wasn't real.

By 6am Jason was starting to feel very fatigued, his mouth was dry and he's eyes stung terribly from all of the tears, he knew he was probably dehydrated but he was unable to summon the strength to move. He'd stopped holding his mom's hand a few hours earlier when he realised that rigor mortis had started to set in, he laid her cold hand down by her side.

"I'm going to look after them, mom." He told her. "I'm going to make you proud."

Half an hour Henry had woken with a start, he wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep, he sat up and saw Jason still sat next to his mother's bedside. He lifted his wrist and looked at his watch, it was 6.30, Jason must be exhausted. He stood up from the sofa and walked over to his son.

"Jace." He said, placing his hand on his son's shoulder. "You need to get some sleep."

"I can't – If I leave her…" Jason began.

"Jason, your health and your sanity is all your mother would care about right now." Henry said. Jason looked at his father, and then back at his mother.

"Don't worry." Henry said. "She won't be alone, I'll be here."

Jason sighed, defeated and stood up.

"Goodnight dad." He said, then he turned and leaned over his mother's body, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"Goodbye mom." He said finally, and he left the room.


	21. Chapter 21

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Twenty One**

All of the arrangements had been made, booklets printed, the venue booked. Everything was ready to go; the only thing left for them to do was wait. It was the day before the funeral and Henry was midway through polishing his good pair of shoes when the doorbell rang. He sighed and got up put his shoes on the floor and went to open the front door.

Blake Moran stood on the doorstep, as well dressed and groomed as always.

"Blake, hi." Henry said.

"Good morning Dr. McCord." Blake said.

"Please, call me Henry – you can come on in." Henry said, standing to the side to allow him to enter the house.

Blake shuffled indoors and stood in the hallway. He was holding a large bouquet of lilies in his arms which he handed immediately over to Henry.

"These are from me and everybody at work." Blake said.

"They're beautiful, thank you." Henry said, taking the flowers. He led Blake into the kitchen and sat the flowers in the kitchen sink, which he'd filled with a little water.

"I'm sorry for the mess." Henry said, indicating the vast amount of casseroles that covered every square inch of the kitchen counters and tables.

"Oh, not at all." Blake said. "Henry, I'm so sorry for your loss, Elizabeth was an extraordinary woman."

"She was." Henry said, handing Blake a glass of water. "She always spoke very highly of you, Blake."

"The feeling's mutual." Blake said, taking a sip of water. "Where are the kids?" He asked, placing his glass down on the counter.

"Will took them out for ice cream, as you can imagine – everything's a little crazy here lately."

"Yeah…" Blake mumbled. "Actually, Henry there's a reason I'm here." He fumbled about with his suit pocket and pulled out a stack of envelopes.

"Before she passed, Elizabeth asked me to hold onto these letters, there's one for each of you. She wanted me to give them to you after – well after she –"

Henry took the stack of envelopes, clearly shocked.

"She wrote these?" Henry asked, dumbfounded.

"Yes sir." Blake replied.

Henry flicked through the envelopes until he found the one which was addressed to him. He laughed, that was her handwriting alright.. He brought the envelope closer to his face and inhaled, the scent of her perfume still lingered on the paper.

"Thank you, Blake." He said.

* * *

Henry sat on the big windowsill in his bedroom. Little did he know this was the very place that Elizabeth had written the letter he was about to read. It had taken a week before he'd finally built up the courage to set foot in their bedroom, he had cried himself to sleep on his first night back in the bedroom as he hugged Elizabeth's pillow, which still smelt like her.

Henry had been to visit Elizabeth every day in the chapel of rest since she'd been taken away from the house. The undertakers had really done a brilliant job working on her, in place of the bandana that she'd grown so accustomed to over the past few months was a golden blonde wig, it looked almost exactly like her natural her and it had taken Henry by surprise, he'd grown so used to seeing her in the bandana.

Her make up had been done very tastefully, and really if Henry hadn't known any better, he would have thought that she was just sleeping. The kids had only come to see Elizabeth once at the chapel, it was too much for them to deal with, and Jason was already having nightmares from the eight hours he'd spent sitting beside his mother's body.

Henry had cried in the car the day that the casket had to be sealed, this was it – he was never going to see his wife again. He sobbed in the drivers seat as that realisation hit him, and now here he sat, clutching a sealed envelope to a letter that his wife had written him. He traced over her handwriting on the front of the envelope with his index finger, smiling.

He turned the envelope over and slowly started to open the letter, he took it out and unfolded it and braced himself for whatever he was about to read.

_My dearest Henry,_

_It seems like a lifetime ago that we met on that cold winter's day in the library of UVA. I suppose by the time you're reading this, it will have been a life time ago for me. I thank God every day for bringing us together, and although I lost my faith many, many years ago I truly believe that we were always destined to be together._

_You took me in, shook me off and welcomed me as one of your own into your family. It was overwhelming at first, I'd become so accustomed to being alone after my parent's death and being away from Will at college that it seemed so scary to open myself up again. After my parents died I kind of became a shadow of myself. You brought me back to the light Henry, and for that I'm eternally grateful._

_Every day spent with you during this life has been a beautiful adventure, but now I must go on alone. It hurts me to think I'll ever be without you but we have to learn to come to peace with what's happening._

_You and the kids are the greatest thing that's ever happened to me, maybe I don't say it enough but you are the reason I've lasted as long as I have. Whenever I feel lost and broken, I just remember that you're in my life and it brings me back from the edge._

_You are an amazing soul and a wonderful father, I know you'll continue to raise the kids beautifully. Henry, I want you to be happy, even if that means you meet someone else and remarry after I'm gone. I only pray that she loves you every bit as much as I have in this life._

_I hope you don't mind that I asked Blake to give you this letter, I just wanted to you have one last piece of me to remember._

_Stay strong, I will always be with you. I'm waiting for you on the other side._

_All my love,_

_Elizabeth_

Henry hadn't realised it until a tear had fallen onto the page and smudged Elizabeth's name that he was crying. Elizabeth had always been so selfless, putting everybody's needs ahead of her own. This letter meant the world to him, he was beyond grateful to have this one last piece of her.


	22. Chapter 22

**Supermarket Flowers**

**Chapter Twenty Two**

The sun shone brightly in the sky on the morning of the funeral, and Henry knew it was Elizabeth's doing. He'd barely slept the night before and was already up and dressed in his suit and tie by the time the kids came down for breakfast. He'd helped Jason to put on his tie and together he, the kids and Will stood outside of the house, waiting for the funeral cars to arrive.

At 9:30, two black cars arrived and parked in front of the house, in the front car Elizabeth's casket lay surrounded by flowers. The second car was to transport the family to the cemetery. They all bundled into the back of the car, fastened their seatbelts and sat in silence as they were driven. As they arrived at the chapel, they all stepped out of the car and were met by Blake who was standing awkwardly alone outside of the chapel doors. Henry had asked Blake only yesterday if he would like to be one of Elizabeth's pall bearers, a request which Blake had immediately accepted.

"Hi guys." Blake said, walking over to them.

Henry, Jason, Will and Blake walked to the front vehicle and waited for the casket to be removed, it was gently place on each of their shoulders and they proceeded to slowly walk the casket into the chapel, Henry and Will up front and Jason and Blake bringing up the rear.

Henry breathed deeply as he walked, willing himself not to cry as he walked past all of the rows of people who were stood inside the chapel, waiting. He owed it to Elizabeth not to fall apart yet, he could do that later when he was alone. He barely took anything in as he passed each person; he walked past so many people who had been important to Elizabeth, Conrad, Lydia and Russell Jackson were all stood a few rows back from the front. Behind them stood Elizabeth's old staff, Jay, Daisy, Matt, Nadine and alongside them stood their new boss. He barely acknowledged any of them, he just had to make it to the front of the chapel without falling apart, it was the hardest walk he'd ever had to do.

They reached the front of the chapel and gently placed the casket down in the center; they then turned back and went to take their seats on the front row, Blake returned to the row with his colleagues, who had saved a seat for him. Henry smiled at his brother and sisters who had taken the row behind his, grateful that they were here to supprt him. Will and Henry took their seats beside Stevie, Alison and Jason, and the service began.

"Good morning." The humanist said from the front podium. Henry pulled a packet of tissues from his jacket pocket in anticipation of what was to come. The humanist minister had been his idea, he knew that Elizabeth hadn't been overly religious and he didn't believe having a religious minister conducting the service would be right. The minister had called to the house a few days after they'd confirmed the date for the funeral, she was a lovely, warm woman who'd asked Henry, Will and the kids as much as she could to really get to know exactly what kind of person Elizabeth had been.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Elizabeth Adams McCord. I met with Elizabeth's beautiful family just days ago, her brother Will, her husband Henry and her children Stevie, Alison and Jason. Elizabeth was born on June 21st 1968 to her parents Benjamin and Suzanne Adams, she was a wonderful big sister to her brother Will. Unfortunately early on in their lives they lost their parents in a car crash and Elizabeth and Will were left to fend for themselves. I'm told by Will that Elizabeth was the best surrogate parent he could have ever wished for."

"Elizabeth later attended the University of Virginia, where she met her husband Henry. Henry tells me he knew from the day he first set eyes on Elizabeth that he was the luckiest man in the world. They married in 1990, and as I've been told, the rest is history!"

"Elizabeth worked as a CIA analyst for twenty years, all whilst raising her three children. It was at the CIA where she met her long-time friend Conrad Dalton who, at the time was the director, today you may know him as President of the United States."

"It was from Conrad Dalton that Elizabeth received her most challenging role yet, the secretary of state. Elizabeth worked as the secretary of state for two years before sadly being diagnosed with cancer in 2016. Elizabeth faced her illness much like she approached every obstacle she came across in her life, she rose to the challenge, she was determined to not go down without a fight."

"I'm told by Elizabeth's family that they were often blown away at what a fiercely strong woman Elizabeth was, when faced with utter tragedy – she went on full steam ahead. Elizabeth loved spending time with her children, who were the lights of her life."

The minister paused for a moment, adjusting her glasses.

"I'd now like to bring Elizabeth's daughter, Stevie up here who will be reading a modified version of the poem _Do Not Go Gentle_ by Dylan Thomas. Stevie, if you would.." The minister gestured to the podium, stepping aside.

Stevie stood from her seat and slowly made her way to the podium, she pulled a folded piece of paper from her pocket and laid it down on the podium. She did her best not to catch anybody's eye for she knew that she would probably burst into tears. She cleared her throat and began to read.

" _Do not go gentle into that good night,  
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;  
Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

_Though wise men at their end know dark is right,  
_ _Because their words had forked no lightning they_ _  
_ _Do not go gentle into that good night._

_Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright  
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,  
Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

_Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,  
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,  
Do not go gentle into that good night._

_Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight  
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,  
Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

_And you, my mother, there on that sad height,  
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.  
Do not go gentle into that good night.  
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."_

Stevie took her seat once again - glad the reading was over but feeling immensely proud of herself for getting through it without crying. As she sat beside her dad, he placed his hand on her shoulder and whispered in her ear.

"That was beautiful, I'm so proud of you."

Stevie smiled, as tears began to roll down her face.

"Thanks dad." She whispered back.

The service shortly concluded and Will, Henry, Jason and Blake once again were up to bat. They carried the casket out of the chapel and returned it to the vehicle from where it came. They then followed behind the vehicle and it drove to the gravesite, a few moments' walk away from the chapel. When they arrived, the funeral directors organised the lowering of Elizabeth's casket into the ground.

Each of the pall bearers had a hold of thick green fabric straps as they slowly lowered the casket into the grave.

Stevie and Alison held each other as they watched the casket leave their field of vision, sobbing gently as it went, this would be their mother's final resting place, forever.


	23. Chapter 23

**Supermarket Flowers**

** Epilogue **

**a/n – This is the final chapter of the story, I can't believe we've finally come to the end and I want to thank you all profusely for sticking with me throughout the whole thing, I know it's been hard. It breaks my heart to tell you that this fic is based on a true story. Everything you've read across these many chapters, I had to deal with in real life, a lot of the McCord children's reactions were my own, everything from Stevie not wanting to go home and having therapy, to Jason breaking his X Box controllers out of uncontrolled rage and sitting with his mum's body all night because he didn't want her to be alone, to Alison spending Christmas eve with her mum in the hospital meeting the nuns. Believe me when I say, therapy helps.**

**For this reason I want to dedicate this chapter to my absolute warrior of a mum, who sadly left us on July 26** **th** **2019 – she fought hard every day and her sheer will and strength reminded me so much of Elizabeth McCord. One of her favourite shows when she was alive was Madam Secretary, so I thought a story like this would be a great way to honour her memory and let people experience her story. She passed away before she was able to see season 6, but I know that she would have absolutely loved it. Thanks for everything mum, you were an inspiration and I miss you every day.**

**As some of you have already guessed, this fanfic was named after the beautiful song by Ed Sheeran named Supermarket Flowers - if you haven't already heard it I recommend you all listen to it. The lyrics so perfectly explain in my opinion, how somebody feels when they lose their mother.**

**If you are suffering from cancer, or you have a relative/friend suffering from cancer, don't hesitate to send me a PM if you ever need somebody to talk to.**

* * *

***Four Months Later***

The sun shone brilliantly down on Henry and his children as they slowly emerged from the car, stepping out onto the green grass lined with gravestones. Jason opened up the trunk and started to pull out the bunches of flowers they'd all picked out at the store to place on his mother's grave.

It'd been four months since she'd passed, every day still felt as hard as ever, but the emotional wound left behind didn't feel as raw. Henry examined the grave closely, happy with the fact that earth was finally beginning to settle. Soon he'd be able to plant grass seeds or lay down turf and make it look even more beautiful.

After four long months of waiting, the gravestone he'd had made for her had finally been installed at the graveside. Today was the first time any of them had seen it in the flesh. Beautifully carved into the shape of a heart, the stone stood at a tall four feet above the ground, etched into each side were two stone roses.

There were two pots at the base of the stone on either side, ready for flowers to be held in them. Jason handed some flowers over to Stevie and Alison and they set about arranging the flowers in the pots. Henry watched as they lay the flowers, he was immensely proud of his children. They were now the only part of Elizabeth that he had left, and he swore to protect them until they day he died.

Stevie stood back from the grave and drew closer to her father.

"It looks absolutely amazing, dad." She told him.

He didn't disagree, the stone was stunning, when the sun hit it, the silver flecks in the stone sparkled beautifully, he definitely had made the right choice. Etched upon the giant stone in golden letters, it read:

_ELIZABETH ADAMS MCCORD_

_JUNE 21_ _st_ _1968 – MAY 24_ _th_ _2017_

_BELOVED WIFE, MOTHER SISTER_

_ALWAYS IN OUR HEARTS_

_SHE LIKED EATING POPCORN AT REALLY WEIRD TIMES_

He couldn't help chuckling to himself as he read through the final line, he couldn't lie, it described her perfectly. The four of them stood together all staring at the grave, there was a strange air of closure that came from seeing the gravestone finally sitting in place atop the grave.

Sensing the need to give their father some alone time, Stevie began to herd her siblings away from the grave. He watched after them.

"We'll be waiting in the car." Stevie said quietly, as she opened the passenger side door.

With the kids out of the way, Henry began to let go of the emotions he'd worked so hard to keep in lately. He had to be strong for his kids, but the pain was eating him alive.

"I miss you every day Elizabeth." He whispered.

"I don't know how to do this, I don't know how to live without you" He cried, staring longingly at the ground, he traced his fingers over the engraving of her name. Tears rolled down his face and fell on to the settled soil below the gravestone.

"I need to know how to live without you." He cried, choking back a sob.

The wind blew a little fiercer than before and he shivered, the sun had hidden behind a stray cloud. Slowly but surely he saw it, a tiny white feather floating slowly down in front of him, it landed gracefully on top of the gravestone, Henry gave a soft laugh. His mind recalled the letter he'd been given by Blake from Elizabeth, he remembered the words that she'd written, her beautiful handwriting, the words had been burned into his memory.

_I will always be with you._


End file.
